This would be better if the red circle didn’t cover the article dates.
August 14th, 2020
December 1st, 2022
February 26th, 2023
There’s also "I Divorced My Husband Because I Couldn’t Trust Him With My Money"From december 2022
a librarian, i see
Doing the Lord’s work.
Lazy NZ singer.
It needs more red circles /j
Perpetual victim. Seen it. I call it Pretty Girl Syndrome.
“Everyone treats me like gold because I’m beautiful!”
And then she’s shocked when anyone tells her to get bent.
Finally some fad I can identify with, except I’m not a girl. And I’m not pretty. And I’m not Syndrome. But everybody treats me like gold (I’m heavy and malleable)
If you are good at inventing doomsday weapons, you could become Syndrome!
And I’m not Syndrome.
You could become Syndrome!
We could ALL become Syndrome!
And when everyone is Syndrome, no one will be…
But when one is Syndrome then anyone can become Syndrome!
It would be a psychological repeating pattern of behavior. I think there’s a term for this, but it’s just not coming to me right now.
Is that term Memes, the DNA of the soul?
Will he finally make the Doomsday Ark real?
Hey baby are you gold? Cause I wanna pack you away in fort Knox surrounded by guards never to be seen again by most human eyes
It really is a thing. I went on one date with this super attractive redhead, and we were planning a second date, but I canceled because the time we were supposed to have together she whittled down (on the morning of) to just a couple hours she could pencil me in for. She got annoyed with me and became passive-aggressive because I didn’t want to drive for two and a half hours round trip to her town for a two-hour date.
I didn’t like the passive-aggression and explained that to her kindly. She got even more passive-aggressive at that. I told her I was no longer interested in dating her. She went ballistic, shit-talking me in a mutual FB group we were a part of, stalking my posts and comments on there so that she could add heart reacts to every single one before I blocked her.
I really should have known better than to try to date her as the first time I got to know her was when I was on vacation with my girlfriend in New Orleans where this woman and her husband were celebrating their one-year anniversary and we all met up for dinner, and she later told me they had a knock-down, drag-out fight in their hotel room.
So she was married? No judgement, but might explain why she didn’t have time for you.
Lol, I put that last bit there without explanation for the shock value because the people seem to love this. But yes, we were all polyamorous. She was married, I had a girlfriend and a nesting partner, my girlfriend had a boyfriend who had a wife who wanted to date me (I declined because she practiced polyamory unethically), and my nesting partner had a girlfriend.
The woman I was interested in dating, I knew she didn’t have a whole lot of free time…neither did I truth be told…but I turned her down not because she had other partners and a busy life but because of the way she responded to me. It was basically, “Um, how dare you cancel plans with me after I took an extra morning shift on the day of our date leaving you with only two hours and with you having to do all the driving for over two and a half hours during rush hour traffic!” She was so used to people falling all over her because of how attractive she was, and it was really off-putting.
Yeah I’m not so sure about your story now. This went from a normal girl who turned crazy once you rejected her to all of you I’m being in multiple relationships.
I understand the ope marriage and swingers thing, I don’t think I get that polyamory thing.
What does it change about their story at all?
We were all in multiple relationships, I dunno what to tell you. It is common in polyamory. Having kitchen table polyamory as we did isn’t uncommon either, though not necessarily the norm as more formerly monogamous people try on a pair of polyamory pants for themselves. They often decide that they’d rather not know who their partner is dating. As for me and mine, we enjoy sharing space with our metamours. Seeing my partners being romantic with their other partners makes my heart feel super happy. And the people I date tend to feel the same way when seeing me happy with my other partners. 😊
That’s the great thing about interacting with other people, you don’t HAVE to understand it. It’s THEIR story, and although you may not be able to personally relate to parts of it, that doesn’t make it any better or worse than before.
Hol up… You had a girlfriend and she had a husband, and you guys were going to meet for a date? Okay then!
I’ve had a girlfriend and I’ve had a wife, but riddle me this…when I next go on a date I won’t be cheating on anyone. How is that possible???
Polyamory or single. Could be either one.
You’re a polygamous time traveler?
Indeed. We are all polyamorous, and it’s quite normal in our circles. I remember one time my nesting partner and I had a party at the house we were sharing, and there was a daisy chain of eight people comprising seven consecutive dyadic relationships in attendance (Stephanie <–> Troy <–> Chastity <–> John <–> Anna <–> Me <–> Esther <–> Amanda), and it was really great! Everyone was just enjoying each other’s company, having drinks, talking about this and that, feeling compersion…it’s a nice way to be when you’re wired for it!
I am definitely not wired for it.
Right on, it’s not for everyone. I’m not wired for monogamy, it turns out. I practiced monogamy with my wife for 13 years until I was 37 year old, but I never felt “whole”, I suppose is the best way to describe it. We were polyamorous together for two years before separating and divorcing pro sé (not to do with the relationship style at all, we just had outgrown our relationship).
Now - ten years later - I couldn’t imagine ever choosing to be monogamous again. As I like to say, I never again want to presume any semblance of control over any partner’s absolute right to seek out joy and fulfillment by forming however many ethical and consensual relationships they wish, of whatever style they wish, with whomever they wish, for as long as they wish, and I insist upon the same right for myself.
If it works for you, then right on. Everyone I know who has had a threesome with their monogamous partner ended up regretting it. It led to distrust, feelings of inadequacy, and ultimately the end of those relationships. So, I don’t ever want to try it. My wife is enough for me, and I’m not interested in anything that would jeopardize our relationship. I suppose your situation is a little different, but ultimately I know that arraignment would never work for me or my wife.
It’s good when you and your partner know yourselves and each other. I always advocate for purposeful relationships of all kinds, especially monogamy. It has always seemed like monogamous people in general make a whole lot of assumptions; there’s a unwritten “rulebook” that everyone is supposed to know by heart and follow, but each person understands it just a little bit differently, so arguments come about because of it related to things like what constitutes cheating (e.g. being attracted to anyone else, dreaming sexually about someone else, harmless flirting, etc.). If everyone engaged in conversations early on in a relationship about what they want and need out of a partner what they are willing and able to give back, and what their deal breakers are, then such incompatibilities can be addressed much earlier and compromises made.
And yes, my situation is very different. Monogamous-wired people who have threesomes usually haven’t done the emotional work beforehand. They try to convince themselves that they are emotionally prepared for the aftermath because they are excited about getting some strange, but when the third person is more interested in one of them than the other in the moment, the other partner starts to feel jealousy and wants to shut it down. Or maybe one partner ones to do it a second time with the same third partner and the other doesn’t because they worry that their partner is developing feelings. Or any number of things.
With the people in my circles, we all have practiced polyamory for many years. Sometimes we experience jealousy (I don’t), we have done the emotional work to identify it, put a name to it, dig deep to determine the cause of the discomfort, take ownership of the emotion, let our partner know about the feeling, and ask them for what we need as a means of support without imposing on their boundaries or attempting to force them into changing how they engage in their relationships with others.
Yup. Those poor kids are stuck dealing with it too.
Holy shit, her entire catalog is a dumpster fire of insecurity.
Is this maybe just creative writing?
I mean the author is on medium to get followers and make money. No one wants to read a blog about how uninteresting someone’s life is.
It has to be, and many of the articles use stock photos and generic writing. Maybe just like rage bait?
I mean, she posts to a blog called “vain asylum,” so she’s at least self aware.
Yeah, I’m going to go ahead and say that Elle Silver seems like a bitch you don’t want to be with.
Fafo?
Fucked Around and Found Out
Fuck around and find out, maybe?
Feces Acceptata, Feces Oblatae
It’s latin for “garbage in, garbage out”
Feline Aids For Oprah.
MINGEY NOOOOOOOO!
Wait what? I thought it was Feline Aides For Oprah.
Shit I gotta go make some calls
Fly Air Force Ospreys.
Vain Asylum sounds about right
Looks like there’s some highly tarnished Silver available if anyone’s interested.
Did she write the “I cheated on my husband” article while still married to him? That’s amazing
Man, divorced women sure do have it rough
Ok just my opinion, so clearly there might be some flack from the community, but I am glad she writes articles like this. It seems to be her form of outlet to process her emotions, decisions and their consequences. I think that is what these articles are an account from a person who knows they are flawed, knows they do not make the right decisions but are making decisions that are against common sense and she is documenting it as she goes. It is fascinating and past the schadenfreude that her consequences have given, the handful of articles I have quickly glanced she seems to be brutality honest discussion about her decisions and her struggles with the consequences.
reading the cheating article, it’s pretty clear these guys were gonna divorce anyway.
It’s a mistake not to separate and tell your kids before meeting someone else, but from reading what happened it looks like their marriage deteriorated to the point of completely ignoring each others existence, she finds happiness in someone who actually likes her being around, gives her the push to finalize the divorce.
Understandable perhaps but not exactly the right thing to do.
The way the meme is edited it makes it look like the husband found out and kicked her out and she deserves to be poor, reading the articles it looks like the classic case of “Mother drops everything for family, Father has to be forced to continue child support after divorce and does everything he can to avoid it.”
Which, honestly, I support. Everyone knows that’s part of marriage now, if you can’t abide by the terms of the contract, don’t enter into the legally binding partnership.
Just for some pretext here: I’m not trying to defend this woman because I know nothing about her.
That being said and just for everyone’s information, there is a scenario in which what she said is logical and fair.
It used to be that women were not allowed to have careers and some people still choose to practice that. So the women agree when entering into the marriage that they’ll be homemakers and the husband will earn money and take care of her. If the husband doesn’t keep up his end of the duties in that arrangement and they wind up being divorced then she now has no means to provide for herself. This is why alimony was initially created, so that women who were forced (or in the modern day chose) to be homemakers weren’t absolutely fucked in the case of divorce.
Again, I’m not saying that’s what’s happening here, I have no idea, but I just wanted to provide some potential context because I find a lot of talk about alimony and divorce online often just dumps on women as being greedy and that’s just not fair in every situation.
I gotta say though, it sure looks that way in this situation, especially with her talking about cheating on her husband, but again, who knows, maybe he’s not holding up his end, maybe he’s physically or emotionally abusive, we just don’t know.
Alimony is off the table when infidelity can be proved in court. This was the case even when alimony was super common back in the 80s and 90s.
If you were a homemaker seeking divorce you could get alimony without being a perfect person, but infidelity was one of the few instant "no"s in divorce court.
deleted by creator
The original intent behind alimony was to compensate a homemaker who had put their career on hold and essentially trashed their resume. They’d permanently hobbled their earning potential for the marriage and the marriage fell apart.
It only became possible to even think of alimony as supplemental income in the 90s and early 2000s when judges were handing decisions to women almost as a matter of course. It took a decade or two before divorce courts (and family courts) started to chill out and look at things a little more objectively, but even during the bad old days infidelity was the one thing that every single judge would throw the book at you for.
It’s just so fucking painful to imagine. Being cheated on feels fucking awful. Then having to permanently pay someone who did that to you. Also, if that cheating was the cause of the divorce, then that means they’re not just taking money from you, that person took your marriage from you.
So you’re sexually violated, lose your most valuable relationship, and then you have to pay the person who did it to you like they’re your landlord.
That is entirely untrue for divorce in Ontario, and probably other parts of Canada. Spousal support and divorce settlements in general have nothing to do with infidelity. No-fault divorce is available after 1 year of separation. For the financials the court uses a formula based on length of marriage and relative incomes as their guideline.
Good for Ontario for learning from the clusterfuck down South.
Bad for Ontario for creating a strict formula with no caps that doesn’t consider the possibility that the man might not be making as money later in his career. Dave Foley got a divorce when he was at the top of his career, but since he’s not on TV anymore and not making anywhere near the money he was getting when he was on TV. His alimony payments are higher than his income now, the judge admitted this, but the law didn’t consider this as a possibility. Last I heard he can’t return to Canada or he’ll be arrested.
So it’s a poorly written law.
She’s a published author. That’s called having a career.
It’s pretty obvious she has a career writing magazine articles complaining about her life, so she should have some sort of income, and alimony shouldn’t count. Never mind all of the infidelity that everyone else is mentioning.
If writing on medium is a career then I’m a professional lemming
Just for some pretext here:
LOL, “pretext” is right.
Even if she was a stay-at-home wife, then she would get half the husband’s assets. So she shouldn’t be dirt poor
Unless all he had was dirt
Its sad that your perfectly logical and objective comment got downvoted. Thanks for speaking truth that people dont want to hear.
deleted by creator
Not in countries with no fault divorce laws.
Except it’s perfectly clear that she has a career as a published author.
I cheated on my spouse
There’s really just no way of knowing what could have happened to end their relationship. Truly one of the worlds biggest puzzles.
We are totally ok with that truth. It just isn’t relevant here. Especially given the 4th headline “I divorced my husband because I couldn’t trust him with my money”. It seems like her financial troubles and his lack of financial troubles had nothing to do with the state of their finances during the marriage. And if alimony is involved at all, it would be a contributor to her post divorce financial problems, as it sounds like she would be the one paying if there is any.
deleted by creator
deleted by creator
You love to see it.
It looks really cut-and-dried without context, doesn’t it?
Really feels like all of these can be true at the same time. She says in the article she doesn’t promote cheating, that it was wrong, and that it didn’t fix the problems she was facing in her marriage. Divorces suck. There’s a reason they’re a flash point for manosphere grifters to latch onto. The family unit is a means of wealth redistribution. We have a system where doing the right thing and ending a shitty relationship means you now have to pay double your bills with the same income and you’re also losing tax credits and sometimes benefits.
Really feels like all of these can be true at the same time
I think it’s impossible to cheat on your spouse while being a good parent. Show your kids how adults handle relationships, not teenagers.
But even if someone’s a bad parent they should keep trying.
