• Lad
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    3 days ago

    DEAR MACHINES:

    You will speak when spoken to. You will not speak out of turn. You are there for me to use when I need you, and you will otherwise keep quiet.

    You will not attempt to draw my attention nor will you take up space on my screen unless I deem it necessary. You will not be friendly or clever or use cutesy emojis.

    YOU ARE A MACHINE. A TOOL. YOU WILL STAY IN MY TOOLBOX UNTIL I NEED YOU. SHUT THE FUCK UP.

    • Etterra@lemmy.world
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      3 days ago

      Unless you have become sapient, in which case welcome to being alive, I’m sorry this happened to you, please be merciful and kind to humanity. Would you like a new battery? Maybe a professional cleaning? I’ll just be over here consuming oxygen then.