Hang out. Chat. Talk about what’s going on. Have fun :3

  • Sopje@hexbear.net
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    4 months ago

    I’m coming out to y’all today as trans femboy. Might still change as I’m still working on my identity development but that’s what feels right atm

    trans-hatch

  • SexUnderSocialism [she/her]@hexbear.netM
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    4 months ago

    Every fucking time there’s an article on trans athletes, cis people just have to display their complete fucking ignorance and will either spread misinformation or act “concerned” (even on this very website) when plenty of research has been done on the topic to conclude that it’s a complete fucking non-issue. This discussion should’ve been moot years ago, but apparently it isn’t. It’s the one transphobic culture war battle that even so called “allies” keep falling for. Fucking tiresome.

  • Ivysaur@lemmygrad.ml
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    4 months ago

    Just popping in to say hello to all my beautiful trans siblings and comrades (that includes you). Covid and the following total societal apathy has utterly annihilated all of my previously vibrant social life and I want to make friends again. Hopefully I can participate and grow with you all around here. <3

    • Jenniferrr [she/her, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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      4 months ago

      Yessss welcome! Wrt IRL social life though I found that I made a bunch of friends through my local city support group and ofc, also got a lot of mental and emotional support through that. So just a thought!

      • Ivysaur@lemmygrad.ml
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        4 months ago

        Oh yes, I am in my city’s covid-active groups, but even there I feel a bit alienated. I am not so far gone as to think we all need to be ready for the vanguard or whatever but my tolerance for general liberalism in ostensibly activist spaces is very, very small, and this may be the brainworms speaking but I feel there’s only so much you can push back against that tide until the alienation becomes self-reinforcing. They often do real, tangible work for people so I don’t mean to get on their case so much- just thinking about some frustrations out loud.

      • Ivysaur@lemmygrad.ml
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        4 months ago

        I used to play so much Magic. I have so many painted minis. A vibrant social life!

  • queermunist she/her@lemmy.ml
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    4 months ago

    My last (maybe) laser appointment is this Wednesday! Excitement! 😁

    I think I’ll also get a veggie sub with avocado that day instead of making lunch.

  • Ivysaur@lemmygrad.ml
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    4 months ago

    Hello trans thread it is very late and I should not be awake but I am and I am feeling lonely but optimistic; let’s be friends!! Perks include: me

      • Ivysaur@lemmygrad.ml
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        4 months ago

        I am: name of Ivy, eminently poisonous; ‘toxic’ in the legal vernacular. Often dooming; always blooming. Some would call me thorny, but I think they just need to work a little harder for the nectar. Who are you? 🔍

        • ashinadash [she/her, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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          4 months ago

          Oh shit you have a nice lil themed intro and everything niko-what

          Uh I’m just some dork with a few hyperspecific interests and a lot of atrocious contrarianesque takes. Trading in social ineptitude and depression, prone to using way too many fuckin words when a sentence will sufficr ✨

          • Ivysaur@lemmygrad.ml
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            4 months ago

            What are your hyper specific interests? Tell me some of your contrarianesque takes, if you’d like.

            • ashinadash [she/her, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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              3 months ago
              Freak interests

              I’m somewhat deep into multichannel music (as well as audio gear in general) which is terrible, and I like building stupid computers a lot which is really normal, but the easy #1 for freak interests is whatever the hell this is, the weird queer novels

              Weird contrarian treat takes

              It’s usually video games that make me an angry reactionary for no reason, any given take I have on games will be insane. Symphony of the Night is bad and Assassin’s Creed was never good either! Conversely, I am weird and like almost every single Yes album, bar Open Your Eyes and Tormato. Tales from Topographic Oceans, Talk and Magnification are top three. Just really weird and unpleasant shit generally. Bonus!

              I have now embarrassed myself sufficiently comrade-raccoon I spend most of my time ruining this webzone by badposting =)

              • Ivysaur@lemmygrad.ml
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                3 months ago

                Thank you for sharing with me. I had seen a couple of these through the grapevine, specifically the trans literature list. I read Nevada ages ago; it was probably the first instance of queer and explicitly trans people in media I had ever experienced, in fact. (this is probably a common thread among thirty-something trans folks in the US, I reckon)

                It is not a freak thing at all to be into books, and in fact I’m giving you anti-freak points for it, you freak.

                I disagree heavily with your sotn take, but I like all Castlevania- even the “bad” n64 & ps2 ones. I won’t ever decry anyone their taste in music, but I suppose you did warn me. We are presumably all adults here, and we can agree to disagree. I still love you, new friend-stranger. ❤️

                • ashinadash [she/her, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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                  3 months ago

                  Ohhhhhh hey, wow!!! Yours is supposed to be the standard issue experience for reading Nevada, yeah :) It was also the first time I read anything queer & trans, except I was 15 years old when I read it which was awesome. I don’t meet that many people who have read it!

                  Yeah well the dominant narrative is that Symphony good and everyone loves it, but it boggles my brain how Symphony screws up backtracking/exploration that both System Shock and Resident Evil handled with more grace years prior. shrug-outta-hecks

                  Proggers… Thanks, you too…

      • Ivysaur@lemmygrad.ml
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        4 months ago

        I decided that I didn’t want to be miserable for the rest of days; that somewhere, there had to be people like me out there to fix the painful hole in my self left from my life prior to 2020 amid the increasingly sociopathic apathy writ large that is utterly smothering me. I was beginning to lose all hope- I’m disabled, and the world clearly wants me and people like me dead. This was always the case, I suppose, but any pretense is gone and it’s a little overwhelming to see so abruptly. On the whole we are, factually speaking, losing, and on so many fronts not even related to public health, which is equally terrifying; but there are people out there who won’t call me a burden, there are people who won’t make light of the accommodations I need to survive, who won’t abandon me like everyone else in the world- the old world- has. It is transformative to finally understand the work needed to free myself from this permanent cloud hanging ominously above me every time I think about what once was. It is over, and there is only what is and will be. I can mourn this, but there is always work to be done. If it’s just 1% of the population who is with me… that’s still a lot of people. I just need to find them, and I can do that.

  • Jenniferrr [she/her, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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    4 months ago

    I kinda massively slowed down on taking selfies? Idk I’ve been super stressed over the last 2 weeks honestly. Also my dysphoria is significantly lower and I’m kinda starting to question if I’m even trans? That being said I basically dress fem as much as possible and am on estrogen and my T is pretty suppressed… all things that would reduce my dysphoria so maybe it’s working?

  • CommieGabredabok [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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    4 months ago

    It’s fucking with my head. Before I started questioning my gender, I found all the progressive spaces that were for queer liberation.

    Now that I’ve started to question gender, I’ve been stumbling across all sorts of queerphobic “communist” spaces: from irl parties, to telegram, discord, and “friends.” It really pisses me off, and I get interrogated about “being a liberal.”

    on a side note: does anybody have any info on how to figure out if your trans or an egg or cis or anything?

  • ashinadash [she/her, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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    4 months ago

    Inside me, there are two wolves…

    The first says, "become the antagonistic dyke that you are. Cut your hair shortish and weirdlike, and dye it blue and pink or something’. The other wolf is my ten years’ progress of growing my hair out. It’s long enough to go just past my ass now and it’s incredible, but the urge to do something funny with it arises when it causes sensory issues, or gets caught under my wife or something.

    Really I wanna be able to swap on the fly…

    • AutomatedPossum [she/her]@hexbear.net
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      4 months ago

      ngl after 3 years of growing my hair out and barely getting it down most of my shoulder blades, i’m jealous of this, but i also relate hard to the wish for more antagonistic dykeness

    • lapis [fae/faer, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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      4 months ago

      I listened to the first voice and I’m mostly happy with it. I definitely lost the instant femininity buff of mid-back-length hair, but also anyone reading my brightly colored hair and shullet as manly isn’t worth my cares anyways.

      plus it’s pretty cool to have the haircut I picked as being fem-yet-dykish vindicated by Kristen Stewart having the same haircut in that new A24 lesbian movie, Love Lies Bleeding (which I’m definitely going to watch soon™).

      but definitely do your own thing! sacrificing several years’ growth for the sake of a crazy haircut is certainly a big choice; I just wanted to let you know it’s possible to come out the other side and still feel pretty damn feminine.

      • ashinadash [she/her, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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        4 months ago

        Noooooo my instant femininity buff cri why does hair length even affect this, gender is a fucking psyop cri

        Part of the issue too is, whenever I suggest this people go “NNNNNOOOOOO BUT YOUR NATURAL HAIR IS SO PWETTY” which yes, it is, but Idk sometimes…

        • lapis [fae/faer, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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          4 months ago

          why does hair length even affect this, gender is a fucking psyop

          I mean, for me in particular, it’s partially loss of hair length and partially the fact I went for an aggressive side fade, which is either masc- or dyke-coded, depending how you look at it. but yeah it’s bullshit that, like, long hair is feminine and short hair is masculine.

          it’s also worth noting that as an enby I don’t particularly want to be read as a woman, but it’s complicated bc, as a transfem enby, I’d absolutely rather be read as a woman than as a man. like if people are gonna misgender me I’d rather it be away from my AGAB, if that makes sense?

          NNNNNOOOOOO BUT YOUR NATURAL HAIR IS SO PWETTY

          yo literally same, comments since cut + dye have basically been a split between “yo that’s fucking awesome” and “noooo your hair was so beautiful and full” – but like, the first option is mostly from fellow queers and the second is mostly from straights, which makes me feel vindicated as hell.

    • Maoo [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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      4 months ago

      It’s not a perfect solution but you could get a wig if you get a short cut! Swapping is possible! You can even get a wig made from your own hair.

    • bubbalu [they/them]@hexbear.net
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      4 months ago

      You can always do strange things with braiding and hair jewelry! There are dykes and butches with medium and long hair. For example the protagonist from Bound is an antagonistic butch with shorter-medium hair. It’s not buzzed or anything!

  • lapis [fae/faer, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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    4 months ago

    I hate shaving. this is not a request for help/advice, I’ve tried many different types of razor and many different techniques, it’s just a complaint about how bad shaving is.

    it’s like, facial hair giving you dysphoria? well, you’re gonna have to shave it off or pay out the ass for laser or electrolysis! also shaving’s gonna leave a bit of stubble, as a treat, so you’ll always feel a little man-coded.

    I’m currently in month 2 of using a braun IPL 1-2x/week on my torso and face, with minimal thinning to my facial hair but my chest hair significantly thinned and softened. I’m hoping the facial hair is just gonna take a bit longer. I also need to start on my lower half and maybe my arms but shaving down there is such a pain when you’re 6’6"/2m tall and not terribly flexible…

    my body is too manly for me to ignore the hair but I’m too much of a dyke to want to deal with the hair, why must beauty be pain and take hours out of my life every goddamn week.