• Savaran@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    4
    ·
    9 months ago

    So part of the coffee shop advice is true. Even if you feel it’s superficial to start. There’s actually a lot to be said for “fake it until you make it” type socialization. Showing up regularly at the same place, be kind to the staff, learn their names, and little by little you’ll find you start recognizing other regulars and the you. It’s okay for connections to start out not super real or deep, it still works those social muscles out. After that it’s just time investment.

    • TheLemming@feddit.deOP
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      1
      ·
      edit-2
      9 months ago

      No, because, obviously I made it, everyone’s believing the story that I built by faking, except myself. I never allowed my true self to be seen

      Edit: I’m arguing here, because I need to understand that I made it, I need to speak it, voice it and dare to let my true self be seen since I obviously made it. Get it? If I never hear that I made it, I’ll doubt forever that I made it

      • RBWells@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        2
        ·
        8 months ago

        It’s normal to feel like you somehow don’t “deserve” your life. Please know that many people around you have the same struggle, and to some extent it’s true. Who among us deserve even to be alive and aware and conscious? To live? We don’t. Nobody deserves anything. But we have it anyway - you have this life, it’s yours, without deserving or earning it it’s yours. That is wonderful and a gift.

        What you consider your true self may also be an illusion, because you are not kind to yourself and do not see yourself objectively.

        You may be faking it till you make it but at some point you must admit you have, in truth, made it.

      • Savaran@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        1
        ·
        9 months ago

        The point is this isn’t a quick thing. Go long enough in an environment as a regular and you’ll feel safer and more able to open up.

        But if you’re going to argue with the advice provided then why ask?