It feels like people are a lot nicer here than on Twitter and Reddit, and even when people disagree, it’s generally civil and not an all-out flame war. Also, there’s no algorithm promoting outrage all the time.

For me, the anticipation of toxicity was a huge deterrent for me ever participating in real discussions, but here I feel like I can be myself.

I think it’s healthier this way.

  • StinkySnork@kbin.social
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    1 year ago

    Add to it, some of us habitual lurkers (me for example) find it not as meaningless to comment. Didn’t want to do it often because most comments get buried and it would feel empty and kinda pointless.

    • KidDogDad@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      I haven’t been able to quite put my finger on why I’m commenting more here and this nailed it.

      • asamson23@lemmy.ca
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        1 year ago

        Yep, I can now see how much of a cesspool Reddit has become when going back and forth between the two platforms. Part of me wants to see the platform grow bigger and bigger, but I fear the same will eventually happen if it gets bigger.

        • cestvrai@lemm.ee
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          1 year ago

          This kind of social media actually seems to work better with smaller communities. Reddit used to have some great niche subs.

    • arandomthought@vlemmy.net
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      1 year ago

      I was also a lurker in “the other place”, but convinced myself to participate here since I wanted to help lemmy feel “alive”. Now I really like it and comment regularly.

      • Ragglemcsnics@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        I’m right there with you guys, would rarely comment on Reddit, but lemmy has been so great and I want to help it flourish as much as I can.

        • RicketySplit@lemm.ee
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          1 year ago

          Definitely feels more comfortable here. At first, I thought I wanted all the other refugees to come here and recreate Reddit. But after a few days, I kind of hope no more do. It’s such a nice place here as is.

          • asamson23@lemmy.ca
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            1 year ago

            Not only is it a nice place, but the general vibe feels way more wholesome that the other platform.

        • manofdiamond@lemm.ee
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          1 year ago

          same here, I joined lemmy just a few hours ago and it already seems so much better than what reddit has become now.

      • Thelsim@sh.itjust.works
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        1 year ago

        I was also a habitual lurker. In all my time there I posted maybe 3 comments and that was only because I wanted to be helpful and I knew the answer to very specific questions.
        I’m not a very confident person in my interactions with other people, but got inspired by others like yourself that I should be the change I want to see (or something like that, I’m paraphrasing). So I took a deep breath and just started posting whenever I had an opinion, or thought of something that tickled my funny bone. And I have to say I’m enjoying it so far, people are positive and I love the sense of community I’m feeling.
        I’m glad I took that step.

    • Ketchup
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      I love how the number of upvotes on this comment speak to the point your making. And now so am I (former lurker)

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    1 year ago

    A small handful of people are working to change that, you find them here and there. Easy to identify as they downvote based on “I don’t like that.”, they’re not really capable of greater complexity usually. Or that’s how it seems anyway.

    We should expect it to get worse though, as our population grows. It’s inevitable, the internet is the internet. Our initially strong culture is an excellent sign though, if our growth continues at a measured pace, we should be able to maintain it for some time.

    • 👁️👄👁️@lemm.ee
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      1 year ago

      Especially the upvote/downvote system drives bandwagon behavior. If a post gets like 3 downvotes and the next gets 2, people just look at the votes and assume who’s right and follow that. They will literally think votes decides what’s right. Though when you’re on the other side of that, it’s also important to know that votes don’t matter and it doesn’t mean you’re wrong. It’s also important to know when to leave a conversation when it stops being a discussion and turns into an argument. Arguments are literally useless and just aggravating, which people won’t admit that they love.

      The reddit behavior certainly still comes out. But an upside about decentralization is you can block the instance they’re from since that annoying behavior tends to follow the same company and you probably block a lot more annoying people as a result.

      • SuperSleuth@lemm.ee
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        1 year ago

        I’ve looked at comments I didn’t feel like reading, looked at the score then voted based on that. This is a bias we’re all subject to, knowingly or not.

        You see a comment had -20 downvotes your interpretation of the contents is immediately swayed to side with the majority. Removing downvotes looking at you beehaw also doesn’t solve this problem. Less likes than the person who responded to you? You must be wrong.

        So I’m glad Lemmy, at least the browser version, shows both up and downvotes by default and the total score is hidden away in the top right. Helps remove a little bit of bias.

        • 👁️👄👁️@lemm.ee
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          I don’t think hiding the vote count is a bad idea though. Keep the upvote/downvote system and let it sort which comment is on the top and whatnot, but who does seeing the score really benefit? There is no winner or loser, and the score doesn’t matter, so why is it kept anyways? The goal in the end should conversation.

      • dudebro@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        Yes, it absolutely does. But I think it’s still worth it to have a downvote system.

        I’m glad we can even see the exact ratio, too. The more transparency, the better.

        At the same time, it would be cool if users could just sort by means other than votes. If you’d like, it’d be nice if you could hide the votes altogether so you don’t see them. I wouldn’t do this, but I support having the option to for those who would.

    • the_kung_fu_emu@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      We have the momentum now, and that makes a world of difference. Lemmy isn’t beholden to any “engagement” metrics, so all the dark patterns that infect other social media have no incentive here. The internet wasn’t always toxic (as a general statement). People engage more in conflict than in an interaction with no winners and losers, we’re just hardwired that way. The “Web 2.0” crowd hijacked that to keep us in front of more ads for longer, “Hur-dur, number go up.” Without those institutional incentives I’m very hopeful that the strong foundation of the Lemmy community can “hug it out” with the few rage baiters that are bringing their bad habits here.

      • Candelestine@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        Bad, nasty people are not few in number, you’re describing a very significant percentage of the Earth’s population. Billions of them, probably. My irl sample has a great many, at least.

        But we can certainly do our best. If we want to see a certain type of world, we are ultimately responsible for fighting for it, or we’ll never even deserve it in the first place.

        edit billions, not trillions

        • FuntyMcCraiger@sh.itjust.works
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          1 year ago

          I don’t believe that’s the case, we have a tendency to put bad people in a spotlight so they end up being a part of our life more than they should, but not because they are so common.

          I think it doesn’t help that a lot of our understanding of how people act is based in debunked psychology studies from an era where cocaine was part of a healthy and complete breakfast.

          • Candelestine@lemmy.world
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            1 year ago

            This is a worthy debate. But I think to really get anywhere you will need new population studies like that.

            I’m going off my strength in the subject of history, mainly. Norms were once quite different from today. Humans did not naturally acknowledge rights, they acknowledged tribes of various sorts.

    • CrypticCoffee@lemmy.world
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      I said you’re wonderful stranger. Keep being you (unless you are a dickhead. But I’m sure you’re not)

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      What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

  • Galaxyboy_3598@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    I feel like there isn’t a “hive mind” on Lemmy like there was/is on Reddit. Even if just a few folks disagreed with your opinion on Reddit, everyone else felt like they HAD to downvote it too and then the next thing you know, you’re being downvoted to oblivion. Here, it seems that folks actually respect your opinion whether or not they agree with it; and while you may get a few downvotes or more, people aren’t afraid of upvoting your comment either.

    Such a different vibe and I’m here for it!

    • Stovetop@lemmy.world
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      I think a hive mind will develop, just based on the nature of the format. In any community there will be prevailing opinions that are upvoted and dissenting opinions that are downvoted. People are still settling down and searching for their specific corners to camp in, which is why you’re probably seeing more variety for the time being.

      Plus Beehaw exists, so there’s your hive mind right there. Get it? Cause they’re bee themed? Beehive?

      • Legendsofanus@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        Is Beehaw like Lemmy? The world feels like it has exploded since Reddit died (imo), I have been never on the niche parts of the internet but this is so interesting and i like it. So is Beehaw worth checking out?

            • Zellenn@lemmy.world
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              Beehaw is a Lemmy instance that defederated from a couple of large instances. Lemmy.world being one of them

                • Zellenn@lemmy.world
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                  This happened a few weeks ago when a bunch of people from reddit first started hopping over. They gave some reasons for why they were doing it. Like how they want to curate a specific type of instance, keep it smaller, they don’t want people that have very different opinions from them because they want a safe space, moderating was becoming a challenge. Some people from other instances were saying that Beehaw seems like they want a walled garden. It’s too bad because they had some good communities.

    • phx@lemmy.ca
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      Does anyone else feel like we’re kinda waiting for the other shoe to drop though?

      We did see a bit of drama that resulted in various instances being defederated, and even if Lemmy is more resistant to corporate bullshit there are some people and groups out there whose sole purpose seems to be ensuring that nobody else can have nice things.

      I’m hoping that the people who contributed fine work towards tools for Reddit will be willing to help improve Lemmy as well, but as the same time users need to understand that while the experience is very “Reddit-like” there are some serious differences in technology and implementation that are going to lead to interesting and potentially unforeseen bumps in the road for the future

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    1 year ago

    How dare you say something like this? Who do you think you are?!

    j/k of course. This community has definitely been like a breath of fresh air after metaphorically living for years in a crowded bunker where everyone was constantly passing gas. I’m happy to be here.

  • MonkCanatella@sh.itjust.works
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    It’s wild. Maybe it’s a honeymoon period where we’re all in this big spaceship together, or maybe that’s just what it’s gonna be like! There’s a sort of liberating feeling of being on Lemmy that I think brings out the best in people

    • seal_of_approval@sh.itjust.worksOP
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      I like the mental imagery of us all being in a Lemmy-shaped spaceship, traveling to an exoplanet to start a new society because the Earth was destroyed by corporate greed. We’re all laughing and joking together, there’s free pizza, lots of nerdy discussions, and the atmosphere is jubilant, having escaped our dystopian living conditions and feeling hope for the future.

      • Legendsofanus@lemmy.world
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        This is the best. I loved Reddit but I’m glad to have moved on. I still log in sometimes just to unsubscribe from old subreddits haha

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      I think the transparency goes a long way to keeping the platform (instances) high quality.

  • MixBlender@lemmy.world
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    I think one thing people need to keep in mind how small this community is right now.

    Right now communities are big if they have a couple thousand subscribers, and the portion of people here generally have a commonality in choosing this place over places like reddit.

    I time, those opposing opinions will come but I think it is good to try and temper them with the reminder that we do not want to live in an echo chamber. Best we can do is encourage people to engage in a way that makes everyone feel welcome.

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    I quite litterally never posted or commented anything on Reddit, just couldn’t stand being absolutely shitted on if I said something wrong.

    • RippleEffect@lemmy.world
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      I’ve commented plenty enough but did definitely decide often that it wasn’t worth it. I do try to consider people’s interpretations of things I say, but words still don’t always come out as intended. Sometimes I’d hava a hit. Occasionally I’d be down voted somewhat heavily. Usually I’m stressing over what I say and it gets maybe 10 upvotes…

      At this point I’ll probably still do that contemplating before posting thing, because frankly, despite it not really impacting my life, it can still hurt to be down voted on a comment you carefully wrote and curated.

    • 👁️👄👁️@lemm.ee
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      There’s also a good life social tip of that to make friends you probably shouldn’t discuss politics, it just creates division. But if you do tend to slide in with “man this thing is happening and it’s totally fucked because x, y, z” you get them to see it without a political lense and people agree significantly more. Just don’t mention political parties.

  • BigFig@lemmy.world
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    What the heck did you just flipping say about me, you big meanie? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Tiny Tots Program, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on the girl’s bathroom, and I have over 300 confirmed noogies. I am trained in Nerf warfare and I have the most gold stars in the entire kindergarten class. You are nothing to me but just another butthead. I will beat you the heck up with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my dang words. You think you can get away with saying that baloney to me on the glowy type-box? Think again, doodiehead. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of teachers across the USA and your parents are being called to pick you up right now so you better prepare for the spanking, junior. The spanking that wipes out the dumb little thing you call your playtime. You’re in big darn trouble, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can wedgie you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed fartfights, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States PTA and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your dorky bottom off the face of the playground, you little poopypants. If only you could have known what serious punishments your little “smartypants” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your goshdarned tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you silly doofus. I will spray boogers all over you and you will cry about it. You’re frickin grounded, buttmunch.

  • useralreadyexists@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    My very first ever post on Reddit,12 years ago, the first commentor called me a fa**ot and the second commentor told me ‘KYS’. I posted a picture of a dog sitting in the driver seat of a car with his elbow hanging out and he was wearing a sweater. It was discouraging to say the least and burned me pretty bad. I deleted the post, tried to wipe it from my memory, continued on reddit for the next decade treading lightly knowing how toxic and mean it could be.