Obviously a woman because that’s what communism is. But which woman?
it should be Gilbert Gottfried, but alas that’s no longer possible, RIP
Shohreh Aghdashloo would be an incredible choice though, I love her voice
Emo Philips is probably looking for work
Nothing would be funnier than quotes about human progress read aloud by Donald Trump.
[Researching pottery]
You’re telling me. Folks. You’re telling me that some people. Not naming any names but it’s crooked Joe Biden. Would have the Clay ask he who is forming it, what he’s making. It’s a disgrace let me tell you.
[Researching Civil Rights]
I have a dream. Folks, I have the best dreams. Nobody has better dreams than me.
I thought of it after being reminded of Leonard Nimoy doing civ4, but Patrick Stewart would probably be good.
Bobcat Goldthwait
Dakota Johnson just being really sarcastic and miscast
“You’ve researched [Arachnids]. You were in the Amazon with my mom when she was researching spiders right before she died.”
If it has to be a woman. Give it to PhilosophyTube. She’s reasonably marxist, a good actress with a good voice and the visibility or platform of literally any British trans person makes JK seethe.
She should do her bad dude impression for all the male line read and her normal voice for all the women line reads.
She might be pretty lib, but I love Terry Gross’ voice
If we’re doing podcasters, phoebe judge would have similar vibes.
Shaun
Kristen Schaal
Serious answer: David Attenborough.
Kristen Schaal would be a good way to make everyone mad. I approve
I love her voice but it would be so awkward for this
i can’t think of an older English language actress known for their voice that isn’t either the type of person who gets oscar noms (And is therefore out-of the price range) or a voice actor who does silly voices or voices children. I mean I guess there’s Shohreh Aghdashloo.
Then again I suppose people didn’t really know Nimoy for his distinctive voice.
Nimoy did have a distinctive voice, especially when he got older. He’s instantly recognizable in 4.
I’m not arguing that Nimoy wasn’t good in 4. But I don’t know if he was an actor known specifically for his voice. If you think otherwise, or I’m just wrong, that’s cool, but that just gets us back to the issue that I can’t think of a woman known for her voice that could get cast for this. (Except Shohreh Aghdashloo)
Helen Mirren does those Documentary Now! intros, so maybe she lowers her normal asking price for the rule of cool.
Kamala Harris, but she has to be zoinked out of her gourd and with permission to go off-script
It’s going to be Chris Pratt. Guys he’s so cool, there’s no one he can’t voice, and his voiceover will allow civ to really crack the mainstream.
My brain tried to protect me by misreading this as “Chris Pine,” and I thought “yeah I like him in movies alright WAIT.”
Liz Franczak
Joking: Wayne June
Serious: Rhiannon Giddens?
Brisket
