Like everybody in France under 45 is fluent in English, and who the fuck wants to talk to an older European. Every single French colony without exception is phasing out or has phased out the use of French as France was such an awful colonial power. Did you know that Eclair is pronounced aey-clare? This does nothing for me. I guess some people want to read Les Miserables in the original Foot Mold Language, just like random people enjoy reading Ovid or Cicero in Catholic script… And just like Latin, fuck that everything has genders and complicated conjugation.

I swear, the French teachers in school were trying to impart the vibe that if we know the French language, French women would have sex with us.

I refuse to defend any facts that I asserted in this essay.