Oat milk!!! You can buy it unsweetened. To me it is the most neutral tasting plant milk, and better for the environment too.

Go to the dark side. Drink it strong and black, don’t look back.

I used to know a guy that put butter in his coffee

This is going to be a personal preference. Nobody can tell you what milk you like. You’ll want to talk to your barista. Explain your problem and ask advice. You may even try out a few of the milks they have to determine what you like. Arrange a tasting even, at a quiet time for the cafe.

You want to pick one of the common milks (like soy or oat) as your preference. You don’t want to get addicted to rice milk and then find it isn’t available at 90% of cafes.

For me, Oat is probably the first in line after dairy as far as flavour goes. Soy and almond I find can vary wildly depending on brand used. Some are OK.

If black espresso is off the table for you, give cold brew a try. In summer I always have some in the fridge. Goes well straight, with milk and even with soda water.

You could get lactase tablets. Those allow you to (temporarily) digest milk, so you could continue to have your coffee with milk.

I do soy milk but that’s mostly because of taste, and it’s one specific brand (European, Spar brand). Almond milk should be sweetest, but it varies a lot between brands.

If you don’t sweeten your coffee, you might like ‘bulletproof coffee’ which means coffee with coconut oil.

vegan barista milk? https://us.oatly.com/products/barista-edition-oatmilk

Well, you didn’t mention what you already tried and didn’t like, so expect useless suggestions here.

Now, while I don’t prefer it for coffee, and I doubt you’ll be able to source it steadily, goat milk is often less of a problem for lactose intolerant people. I just don’t like it in coffee at all.

My first pick would be oat milk. It’s liquid, it doesn’t taste weird in coffee, and it’s not expensive to buy or make.

Second choice would be one of the non dairy powder creamers. They aren’t exactly the most unprocessed thing you can get, but they’ve been around long enough that they’ve gotten the taste to where it works. I can’t say I keep it around, what with being able to handle milk and cream; but I’ll usually take some of it before sketchy milk or cream on the road or at hotels. Coffee mate is the brand I’d go with overall.

Third pick would be one of the liquid non dairy. Reason that’s not second is that the taste isn’t as consistent, imo. Not sure why that’s the case, but I’ve noticed more difference between batches. If you can’t tell the difference like that, then liquid is better overall because it doesn’t tend to be as prone to poor mixing.

Past that, you get into things that don’t really taste that close to milk. That’s where the other plant based “milks” come in. I’d rank them almond > soy > coconut > hemp for coffee. If you want reasons for that ranking, I’ll give it, but it’s so subjective compared to the simpler reasons behind the first three that it isn’t likely to be useful.

Beyond those, you go back to dairy with butter. Weird, and it doesn’t taste the same, but it is actually very yummy. Problem is when it comes out the other end. Coffee and its proclivity towards rapide action in that regard make drinking a lot of it with butter a horrible idea. Well, that and the potential higher calories for what it takes to get the job done.

Then there’s flavorings. While they’re a waste in good coffee, you can get various extracts and flavors that are either made for coffee, or work well with it. Chocolate syrup falls inch this category as well. But a half teaspoon of vanilla extract smooths out most mid tier to office rotgut very nicely.

Obviously, your favorite whiskey version is an option. I like a nice splash of bourbon in some coffee, but it isn’t something you should be doing regularly, or when leaving the house for much of anything.

Now, all of that is according to my taste buds, amazing and by my criteria of staying as close to whole milk or cream as possible in not only taste, but consistency, and mouth feel.

I’m not a coffee drinker, but I did recently get told by doctors that I’m lactose intolerant and have mostly cut out regular milk from my diet.

I went from taking milk with my tea to having tea black. Took a couple of weeks to get used to it, but I no longer miss the milk.

For cereal, I went with lactose free milk. I hated it at first, but forced myself through it for a while. I think by the time I was 2 L through I had mostly come to “accept” it, but after about 12 L or so I got to the point where I no longer noticed how sweet it is.

Either of these, or both of them (use LF milk but much less than you’re used to), could be viable options for your coffee. It’s about giving it time to see if you can adapt.

Another option which I personally never tried is to go with plant-based milk substitutes. Soy, oat, almond, cashew, pea, etc. This video presents some facts about each as well as an entirely unscientific small-scale (at least 7 people, very likely 9, probably not much more than that) taste test. Their results said that soy is probably the best option, being the cheapest (at least in the US, where they did their test), and 2nd best both for nutritional value and in their taste test. It was also the best for foaming/frothing, which I gather might be important in coffee? Oat came second, winning both taste and foam, but being less nutritional and pricier.

If environmental impact is a factor for you, oat is probably best. Almond emits less carbon, but also uses by far the most water of any dairy substitute, while oat is 2nd best in carbon and also 2nd best (with a huge gap to 3rd place) in water use. With how important water scarcity is in Australia, I figure that makes oat the winner here.

I alternate between periods of black coffee and coffee with oatmilk. I go with Pure Harvest unsweetened. I never see cafes using it but maybe it’s no good for steaming.

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I’d seriously just try every single option until you figure out which you like the most!