I totally agree. At the moment I’m just going to make an IRC channel, but also consider a Matrix/Element server for the future.

I’m currently using #sissy_discussion on Rizon, you’re welcome to join! Here is a webchat client for it:

https://client01.chat.mibbit.com/?server=irc.rizon.net&channel=%23sissy_discussion

If you venture into promoting a reddit alternative on their site, however, you probably take on risk of them finding out and deleting your account. So, I wouldn’t use your regular Sissy Sophia account if I were you, and I’d probably take other privacy steps, like VPN

Thanks for mentioning this, as it definitely could be a concern. I do like your idea of using intermediaries though.

By the way - and I know this is out of left field - I’m trying to bring together a roundtable group of moderators and content creators to work on some things for the sissy community, such as an accepted defintion of what a “sissy” is, a symbol and pride flag for sissies, and other projects. Would you be interested?

Oh no worries, I got that idea! I was just wondering if there was any way to link it natively on Reddit without having to do so through the survey

Is there a way that you’ve found to link it on Reddit without activating the automatic filters?

Should have responded to this earlier, sorry.

Our two biggest potential sources of subscribers are probably lemmysnfw users not subscribed and r/sissyology subscribees.

My hunch is that you’ll primarily want to look outside of Lemmy for new subscribers, since Lemmy only has so many members and it’s possible those who would be interested in sissy topics are already subscribed.

That said, maintaining engagement from those already subscribed will be key to keeping this community active.

I know you’ve done surveys in the past. I work in research IRL, and between the two of us we could probably bang out surveys pretty easily (the tough part might be finding a site to host the survey that we’re comfortable with, but that’s a one-off cost).

I’m planning on doing another large-scale Sissy Survey. I’m doing it with Google Forms, which I’d avoid if I could but I don’t know any decent alternatives.

For a little extra sneakiness, we could link to the survey both from here and r/sissyology, but indicate in the survey that results will be posted here only :P.

That could work!

I might be wrong though, but isn’t Reddit auto-removing posts that mention Lemmy? Or is that a different site?

My idea is to reduce the space that the house rules take up in the sidebar and add more sissy resources.

This could be good!

One way of building up this community would be to establish it as a higher-quality version of the communities on Reddit. People will flock to places that can offer more effective training methods.

I’m considering alternative options as well! I already have a Discord and I want to branch out just in case the platform goes full Reddit.

I used to run a Rizon IRC server before Discord came about - #sissyology. I’d love to restart it again.

I think the way I dealt with the issues were a combination of scheduling chats at certain times, as well as keeping an app running in the background on my phone so I didn’t miss out on chatting.

I’m always curious about this sort of thing, can I ask, how did you meet and/or broach the subject of sissyhood to your mistress?

Ooh, that’s a good suggestion!

Yeah, I totally get that. Phone number requirements are a deal-breaker for me too. I was able to get a Discord account without registering one, but it can be annoying, and there’s still huge privacy concerns. I really, really want to move past Discord as a platform to something more open and decentralized.

I wonder what could be some ways to drive engagement here. As a mod of /r/sissyology I’ve been considering reaching out to the top posters there and trying to build a new community with higher standards of discourse and on a safer platform than Reddit. Lemmy is a huge step in the right direction, though with my security-conscious mindset I’d love to have one (or multiple!) back-ups to Lemmy as well :P

I was thinking about Matrix too! I was also considering going back to old-school IRC, or maybe using a P2P platform to cut out all reliance on servers.

Aww thanks!

That’s really cool! I think it’s possible once you’ve gone “over the hump” and made it a habit, it may be possible to keep at it indefinitely. After all, many people are able to stay locked in chastity long-term without issues.

I think the keys are just:

1. not falling for temptations that would lead you to become “out-of-control horny”, and

2. diligently fulfilling your everyday responsibilities so you don’t have to fall back into malemode, and even if you did, you wouldn’t regret being in sissymode since you didn’t mess up in any way

yep, I think it stopped working for a while and then got fixed fortunately

May I ask, how do gooning and overuse of porn lead to malemode for you?

IMO they’re interrelated behaviors that can easily be addictive and time-consuming, and thus lead to the neglect of responsibilities that causes a crash back to malemode.

An example in my own life was when I tried chastity out for a week but didn’t stop using porn. I ended up looking at porn obsessively in every spare second, not sleeping, and being so horny I couldn’t even sleep when I tried. I’m not even sure I came, I just had to crash back to malemode out of pure necessity.

Being out-of-control horny can sound fun, but unless you’re being taken care of by a dom I don’t think it’s workable. Gooning and porn both boost horniness, and that either leads to the temptation to cum or to emotional overheat that results in lifestyle dysfunction.

I’ve been trying to avoid gooning and porn the last few weeks - while still cumming on a daily basis, just to my imagination - and I’ve managed to stay in a relaxing latently-sissy mindset without severe peaks or slumps. YMMV of course.

For not-so-obvious: posture training! This has helped me out immensely lately. You can do it basically anywhere and it leaves no evidence behind ;)

Examples include sitting up straight with an arched back, various submissive postures, and of course sitting to pee.

Admiring the feminine parts of your body in the shower or in the mirror can also help a lot.

I feel a little silly reposting it now after LK99 seems to be debunked (sadly), but here it is:

"Of course the first successful replication of LK99 came from a trans lesbian anime catgirl pfp mocking the paper for it’s glaring manufacturing inefficiencies and cooking a floaty rock in her kitchen.

Always, always bet on trans women, the handmaidens of accelerationism."

by the way, you may be interested in Nitter if you’re not familiar with it! It’s an alternate front-end for Twitter

I think the terms overindulgence and male-mode might be more widely applicable than bingeing and purging though

I agree! I see the word “purge” used a lot, but I don’t really purge.

Squishing the valley (that is trying to leave male-mode for comfortable sissy zone) isn’t something I think I really need to manage. So long as my life isn’t on fire, I will eventually get turned on and get back into sissy things if I’ve fallen out of them.

I get that too, that’s totally fine. As long as you have a balance of taking care of your responsibilities and enjoying what you’re doing~

For me these’d be wear thongs and bras, paint my nails, remove some body hair.

These habits can be great for those trying to keep up a sissy appearance even when their desire is low!

For me, I think two things cause me to crash into male-mode: penile stimulation-induced orgasms which can lead to post-nut disinterest, and my non-sissy life becoming unmanageable due to neglect and therefore I’m forced to put down sissy stuff and take care with non-sissy stuff.

I could be an outlier, but penile orgasms don’t ruin things for me, unless they’re at the end of a big binge where I made bad decisions. In fact, I tend to rely on penile orgasms in order to go to sleep without being overwhelmed with horny thoughts. I do get a refractory period but I don’t feel intense guilt, the period goes away after a short time, and regardless I’m ready to go as soon as I wake up the next morning anyways. But I have no idea if that’s most people’s experience, lol.

Other than cumming after doing something I’d regret, two other practices that tend to get me are gooning and overuse of porn. I think it’s possible that extensive gooning and porn usage may be more of an issue than the cumming itself. But it could also vary considerably from sissy to sissy.

And of course, I totally agree that neglecting everyday responsibilities is always a huge issue.

I might suggest a general self-check-in. Like, if you’ve been in sissy mode for a while just asking yourself “is everything in my life okay right now for me to continue my sissy focus or is there something I should deal with”?

That’s a good one!

Something I’m trying is to be more concerned with my general wellbeing when I’m in sissymode than when I’m in malemode. One rule is that when I get the slightest twinge I might be doing an unhealthy activity or skipping a responsibility, I immediately change my behavior.

The idea is that when I’m in malemode, I will notice how productive and healthy I was in sissymode, and have to conclude that being in sissymode is just better for me. ;)

As another one, sublimate instant-gratification sissy things for longer-term gratification sissy things. Instead of looking at porn, have a girly bath, do a mani/pedi, work on other sissy goals, and/or socialize with other sissies.

And yes, this is excellent as well!

That’s an interesting concept! Tattoo ideas are a perennial topic in sissy spaces, and I’d love to compile a list of all the different suggestions sometime.

If you’re still experimenting, perhaps you could try out a temporary or a henna tattoo?

oh, and in terms of subtle reminders: perhaps decorating your room more effeminately, or changing parts of your body that aren’t typically seen, such as painting your toenails?

oh, sorry! I’m still figuring out how Lemmy works. It’s in the title’s link

unfortunately this particular experiment may have been a bust though… but still cool that they were able to replicate what the original team did!