I have literally never thought about cats with laser eyes, you’ve got a good imagination on you.

I watched the debate and when I opened this video I was kind of surprised that I didn’t even remember this moment. I went and found his full answer, and now I do remember it. I turned to my wife after he finished this line and told her that I am incapable of focusing through an entire fifteen-second sentence if he backtracks and corrects himself so many times that it turns into a forty-second sentence.

I wonder how many other viewers missed how spectacularly awful the second half of this response was because the first half was bad enough to stop paying attention before it got worse.

Also, I’m not even convinced he was finished speaking when the moderator said “Thank you President Biden”, was the guy just putting him out of his misery?

10:17 PM ET

TIL it takes about 75 minutes to get an article written and published from scratch.

If he does another debate and manages to look like he knows what year it is, I think this excuse will land decently with a lot of people, but if he avoids the next debate or conveniently gets another cold then keeping him as the nominee is admitting the party does not actually care about winning the election.

Does anyone have this video with subtitles?

For centuries, humanity has worked towards building an AI that will understand all of physics. Now, upon completion, we have learned that the key lies in the idea of “four simultaneous 24-hour days”.

This is my new screenplay idea.

It took me a minute as well but I’m pretty sure it’s meant as “It will take more than that to break our spirit” and not “We’ll need to try harder”.

then elon musk walks in and is declared saviour of mankind as shitty country music plays

Snuck that in right at the end. I couldn’t get through the video the first time I opened it, but this line convinced me to watch the rest. When it was winding down I started feeling pretty irritated that I got tricked into watching the rest of the video.

Are we expecting Musk to have regular cameos and shit and proudly claim that he’s closely involved with the show, only to distance himself once it starts becoming apparent that everyone hates the cartoon?

Removed by mod

if someone tries the attack helicopter shit

Oh cool! I kind of figured, but I didn’t want to assume. You do really come across as something straight off the Boeing production line.

For any future historians looking for clues, I’m making my confession here: I did it. I ate all the expensive pints of ice cream that were in the freezer. And by the time you find this, it will be far too late to do anything about it.

TBH I’ve always wondered if there could be an effective bit centered around reclaiming attack helicopter. (Will delete/not argue with mod removal if this is in poor taste.)

As a certified idiot I’m kind of embarrassed to ask this, but what is the subtlety I’m missing that differentiates this bit from the one joke?

Yeah it’s like my brain seems to file things in specific containers, although many things end up in multiple places. Being asked to name pokemon you’re just focusing on the subject of pokemon, but I don’t have one single generic spot for people so maybe I’d think up a topic like math and look through people involved in mathematics, then try to find a different topic and go through people in that, etc. Naming 100 people would definitely take me longer, although with enough time my people list would pass my pokemon list.

IMO that doesn’t say anything that’s not already there from knowing he met with Epstein. It’s not that hard to imagine an innocent person getting associated with a controversial situation and struggling with addressing that specific issue with grace. Scheduling meetings with Jeffrey Epstein is simply not a situation an innocent person is going to haphazardly land in by some unfortunate accident.

I love my Tesla. I’m concerned about car theft and am glad there’s a company who cares enough to innovate.

Recruiters hate this one trick! Elon Musk pioneers brilliant new technique for preventing your children from dying overseas!

I’m also a definite no, but I’ve always imagined that gender not being important to you comes with being cisgendered. Like, I’ve always been comfortable with the way I was born, so it’s a lot easier for me to conceptualize being comfortable being born a different way than it is to picture being uncomfortable either way.

Typing this out now though, is this the same thing? Like I identify much more as someone who’s content with how they were born than I do with being a man, the second thing just came along automatically with the first thing. Is there any reason people would distinguish between what I’m describing here and a cisgendered person who really values that they weren’t born the wrong sex?

Maybe dumb questions, being honest I don’t understand gender at all because I never feel any pressure to think about it.

I actually love this rule. I had the dunk tank blocked for a year or two because I was finding that the experience of getting angry at random nobodies while scrolling through posts was making hexbear a lot less enjoyable for me. With that said, at some point (a couple months ago?) I saw some great piece of comedy before logging in and decided to unblock.

They already got me, I completely missed the news about the embassy bombing. Happened on April Fool’s day?

Sometimes I still think about this guy’s glowing endorsement of the IDF when he was asked if the US was concerned about civilian deaths way back in early November:

On Israeli efforts to minimize civilian casualties, NSC’s John Kirby says: “We have seen some indications that there are there are efforts being applied in certain scenarios to try to minimize, but I don’t want to overstate that.”

Really helped put things in perspective for me about how ridiculous the demands that we stop backing the IDF are once I understood how much these decisions are weighing on them.