welp, we finally found something worse than those people who wanted to put billboards in space. the entire tech industry needs to face the fucking wall
a headset that reliably helped you lucid dream could be amazing. why the fuck would your head go straight to using it for work
literal demons
The Protestant Ethic and the Spirit of Capitalism
Building a time machine so I can convince a young Martin Luther to wear a metal antenna on his head so the lightning strike actually hits him.
Here Marty, this will help you get closer to God
Just as The Savior intended
They’ll make it like $10k, or $50/month with ads
Because that’s the way to get ghouls to pay a ludicrous amount of money for it
They’re going to figure out how to reanimate your neurons after you die so that you have an afterlife working a call center job
Imagine being a recently deceased, unfortunate soul whose brain is reactivated with all previous memories only to be used as a demo for the torment nexus. Oh, thought you were dead?
It’s kinda fun though because sometimes it’s hard to imagine something more dystopian. This is all human nature btw I don’t make the rules 🥰
I have no mouth but I must scream, but both are only available on the premium death plan.
I’ll probably shove my geriatric body into a volcano before that ever happens
Dreadnoughts from Warhammer 40k, but instead of being used as super powerful weapons highly respected by everyone in the chapter, they’re used to work some boring office job.
I’m pretty sure this is called robocop.
Butlerian Jihad when
More and more people are saying this
The underlying tech of stimulating brain regions via ultrasound looks cool. Didn’t know that was possible at all, looks quite recent. “Transcranial ultrasound stimulation”, allows you to do stuff that previously required electrode implants.
god, imagine a world where what little productive research we actually do fund wasn’t constantly being derailed into the stupidest shit imaginable
oh shit, i thought this was an EEG machine dressed up to defraud investors. If they’re using ultrasound, this is considerably more concerning. This won’t achieve its goal, which is some pie-in-the-sky nonsense. What it will do is poison the well for research into what could be one of the biggest medical breakthroughs of this century…
…cus, as best I understand it, the ultrasound stimulation actually does affect cognition.
Quick rewind; For the longest time, nobody knew how anesthetics worked. They just did. And they work on everything – mammals, reptiles, fish, plants,
single celled organisms. At a safe dose, it’s a temporary universal off switch for living organisms. It’s only recently that a reach team of anesthesiologists found out just what anesthetics affect. Inside every cell are these structures called microtubules. They are constantly forming from smaller proteins (called tubulin), falling appart, then forming again. It’s like an all-in-one muscular and skeletal system. It gives cells their shape. It’s how cells move. It’s crucial to cell division. And as long as anesthetics are present, microtubuals don’t form.The idea behind ultrasound treatment is to do the opposite of anesthetics. To use sound frequencies to stimulate and encourage microtubules to form more. They’re hoping it may be a a treatment for Alzheimers and dementia. And this dumbass startup is trying to monetize it before it’s even gone through preliminary studies.
For all the stupid Bazinga shit techbros talk about, a lot of the whole transhumanist utopia is possible…(eventually) Just not under capitalism. Even the very rich can’t make it happen for them because they can’t co-ordinate enough resources to achieve social rather than individual results.
Something like a suite of treatments for robust life extention, for instance, requires not just a miracle treatment but a complete overhaul of research, policy, treatment, care and monitoring methodologies. Even if you’re rich enough to just buy and fund a full time research hospital devoted to you and you alone, it won’t be enough to achieve the goal.
Even a cabal of the rich wont be able to co ordinate it, because at some point it’ll get in the way of financial stability and their lanyard wearing handlers will do to them what the Bavarian government did to King Ludwig when his art projects got in the way of his personal finances (he never spent state funds contrary to popular belief, he was just rich enough to fuck the economy.)
And this is before we get to the fact that billionaires have lying grifters hanging from them like flies on shit.
If you want the cool tech shit, for you or your grandkids, communism is the only option.
Reminder that the capitalists want to develop a drug that makes you serve like 500 life sentences in prison in an hour’s time. We’re literally bazinga-ing our way to the torment nexus and nothing is stopping it.
they’re going to weaponize salvia aren’t they?
Jokes on them, I can handle that shit pretty well.
that ones a selling us the rope one for sure tho
Brazen bull treatment for the inventor I hope.
Every day my inevitable tedpilling slowly draws closer and closer.
They’re just ripping off deep space 9 more and more.
The worst nightmares I’ve ever had have all been work related. It feels like poison.
You know when you start scanning items to hit the required rate in your dreams. And then it happens a few times. And then you wake up and go to work to scan items to hit the required work rate. And then you get home to sleep. And then it happens again.
Holy shit, that’s dark. I’m sorry
Ah it’s alright I escaped that hell hole - the Amazon warehouse.
Hopefully I’ll never have to work in one again.
I have dreams where I go to work and it’s a black lodge fusion of everywhere I’ve ever worked at once. Same with places I’ve lived or traveled to. Pretty sure most of it is a ptsd thing cause it’s recurring and usually has to do with really bad shit thst happened.
If anyone takes my literal actual dreams from me I’m going to Kaczynskimode so hard I’ll make Ulrike Meinhof look like a wine cave liberal. I will unleash a one-woman storm of fire that will engulf this entire continent and become the type of supervillain that only shitty capeshit comics can dream about
Queen Ludd origin myth.
Uh…doesn’t dreaming dilate your perception of time? Congrats on envisioning a device with the potential to drive people postal in just a fraction of the time it would take at a normal job, I guess.
real “Chief O’Brien stuck in mind prison” hours
There were some proposals to do this to prisoners. Essentially it would make them feel as if they’ve been locked up for decades in a matter of hours
fuck you startup stay out of my dreams
It’s the Onion, right?
…it’s the Onion, right?dunno about you but i think it’s a lovely idea to go inside a building some asshole literally dreamed up,
as we all know dreams are completely logical & conform precisely to natural law
i only trust mendeleev to dream stuff up 🤚🤚🤚
is this some kind of chemistry joke im too failed in chemistry class to understand?
mendeleev created the periodic table and when asked how he did it he simply said “source: it came to me in a dream”
legend
Bazinga brains think it’ll be Inception and they’ll be shooting baddies and kissing hot babes and totally not The Backrooms.
I had a dream today that involved some girlfriend character in the plot. At some point this girlfriend was recasted as a tangerine and I did not bat an eye. Maybe I should change careers to a lucid dream luxury home builder.
Leela: Didn’t you have dreams in the 20th century?
Fry: Well sure, but not in our dreams. Only on TV and the radio. And in magazines. And movies. And at baseball games and on buses and milk cartons and t-shirts and written on the sky. But not in dreams, no siree!
I think the first dreams should be ads
Finally, sleeptime computing will be real :zane: :pizza-dance: :skeleton-motorcycle:
sticking my head in a microwave brb
throw in some grapes for fun light show
This torment nexus entrepreneur says they can build the torment nexus in a year! Which torment nexus enjoyer will fund this tormenting venture? Preorder now, we’re also doing some crowdfunding as a cover over here
