• drolex@sopuli.xyz
        34·
        8 months ago

        Oh bonne mère du bon Dieu, qu’est-ce que tu viens de dire sur moi ? Je te feais remarquer que j’ai fini premier dans ma classe de CAP de boulangerie à Navarrenx, et j’ai gagné de nombreuses fois le prix de la meilleure baguette du Béarn, et j’ai plus de 300 citations dans la République des Pyrénées. J’ai reçu une spécialisation en pâtisserie et fait un stage dans un grand restaurant étoilé. Pour moi tu n’es qu’un client parmi d’autres. Je te vendrai des chocolatines comme tu t’en n’en as jamais goûté. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

          • aceshigh@lemmy.worldEnglish
            11·
            8 months ago

            unsure if this is right but here’s the translation -

            Oh good mother of God, what did you just say about me? I would point out to you that I finished first in my CAP bakery class in Navarrenx, and I have won the prize for the best baguette in Béarn many times, and I have more than 300 citations in the Republic of the Pyrenees . I received a specialization in pastry and did an internship in a large Michelin-starred restaurant. For me, you are just another customer. I will sell you chocolatines like you’ve never tasted before, remember that. Do you think you can get away with this kind of insults on the Internet? Try again, you big idiot. As we chat, I’m contacting my network of bread houses across France and your identity is shared, so you can prepare for an avalanche of cakes, smart guy. An avalanche that will make you gain 10kg. You’re going to become obese, my little guy.

          • drolex@sopuli.xyz
            6·
            8 months ago

            Too late, you’re French now. Get your baguette and start disparaging other nations, and other French, too.

      • TunaCowboy@lemmy.world
        28·
        8 months ago

        France has one of the best military records of all time:

        the French participated in 50 of the 125 major European wars that have been fought since 1495; more than any other European state.

        In addition, out of all recorded conflicts which occurred since the year 387 BC, France has fought in 168 of them, won 109, lost 49 and drawn 10.

        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/French_Armed_Forces#History

        • sdoorex@slrpnk.netEnglish
          34·
          8 months ago

          No, you don’t get it. They’re not cheese-eating surrender-monkeys because of their military record but because…

          checks notes

          … they didn’t support the unjustified invasion of Iraq.

          Devours a basket of chili cheese freedom fries

        • Redrum714@lemm.ee
          2·
          8 months ago

          None of that matters when the world’s largest war in history starts on their door step and they just give up without a fight.

    • webghost0101@sopuli.xyz
      39·
      8 months ago

      Thats the bro they get their weed from and regularly invites them together for a sesh. Single handedly keeping the peace in the building. Real guru that one.