What’s your positive examples of men, fathers, friends, work colleagues, brothers, etc where they were or are emotionally available?

I feel in todays’ society, men are pressured to fit into this image of having to be emotionless. Thus most of us grow up in empty homes with emotionally absent fathers. That sucks and I don’t want my kids to have to suffer such such

I won’t reply probably but I’m interested in your answers. Thanks in advance!

PS;nsfw

Also, this is why I often would indulge in watching porn - because I crave emotional connection/availability. But I don’t need to have my mind cluttered with these images and so, hence I want to practice being emotionally self-aware, present and safe

  • scarabic@lemmy.worldEnglish
    10·
    9 months ago

    I got nothing from any of the men in my life until I started hanging out with more gay men. Whatever else they are, they are unrestrained by the straight role / rules. I found them fun, open, hilarious, sad, hopeful, crazy… it was also a revelation to be hit on (both good and bad).

    I guess my other ray of hope was my Arabic ancestry. Arab men are very relaxed and affectionate. Not just with each other but with everyone. They adore kids. They dance. They kiss each other on the cheek to say hello.

    Another one is art. If you want to express emotion, ply an art. I wrote. It was a good outlet, even if it never added up to the great American novel.

    Once these influences cracked me open, I began to rescue other men around me, who appreciated having a friend they could really talk to, have feelings in front of, hug…

    At this point I’m very much my own creature. I can’t even imagine living with the whole emotionless thing. It’s so dumb.

    Even though I’m 95% straight I identify as bi. It’s freeing. I don’t worry about that 5% and try to hide it. I cherish it and hold on to it. It keeps me just a little bit flexible. I like that people can’t read my sexuality for a long time after they get to know me. I feel comfortable with straight men, gay men, and all kinds of women. I can relate to trans people, who also construct their gender identity consciously and with intention.

    It’s such a big world of interesting people. You can’t know them all but at least know yourself.