cross-posted from: https://lemmynsfw.com/post/269418

I get the sense that many people (including me) would answer “frequency” or maybe it’s “variety”. What is it for you? How could your needs be better satisfied?

It would be really cool to give people suggestions too, if you have any good ideas to help.

  • Kyle@lemmynsfw.comEnglish
    6·
    1 year ago

    It may sound a little ridiculous but you should see if she’s open to edging without cumming.

    My wife had a fairly low sex drive before trying it and we always thought it was because of medication too.

    We added in an element of control where I would tell her how many times she needed to edge each day. To make it more fun I would hold something like a d4 and d6 in each hand. She would pick a hand, roll the die, and then edge that number of times during the day.

    I would reward her good behavior by making her cum after we had sex. I would punish her bad behavior by holding higher numbers and/or spanking her.

    We did that for a few months and her libido is much higher than before. I still control her orgasms and decide when she gets to cum but I don’t give her an edge quota anymore. She lets me fuck her whenever I want now and is very well trained. :)

    I was inspired to try this after reading stories, often written by women, about how edging helped a lot with libido. Some women say that if they get all the way to the edge that it doesn’t help. They call that a hard edge and prefer to get themselves highly aroused without reaching the edge instead (soft edge).

    • RBWells@lemmy.worldEnglish
      5·
      1 year ago

      I agree with hard vs. soft edging. Staying turned on helps. Too close and it’s more like a ruined orgasm, missed and can’t get it back. Congratulations though this sounds so hot!

    • porn_account@lemmynsfw.comEnglish
      4·
      1 year ago

      My wife and I do this and her libido is up quite a bit – there’s a few moments when she looks at me thirstily even in non sexual situations. She lkes to tease further away from the edge like you’re saying. For her personally, she can only handle one super close edge in a session because it tires her out. It’s similar to how an orgasm tires her out. But she can tease further away from the edge for at least an hour.

      YMMV though because some women say that denying their orgasm actually just kills libido. But I suspect many could possibly get something out of teasing or edging in some way.

      Also if you’re going long term, to me it feels like 3-4 weeks of teasing gets my wife to similar levels of arousal and desperation as I achieve after a couple of days. Something to think about. I don’t think it’s just a male sexuality vs female sexuality thing either, because I know there are women out there who crave sex. Probably just a lower libido thing.

      I also had some success teaching her to talk dirty to me while she’s edging. Seems like she’s starting to explore her sexuality, and she’s learning that she instantly feels wetter and feels more pleasure as soon as she says something dirty to me. But it took a long time of her feeling awkward and embarrassed to start to make those connections.