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The original was posted on /r/bestofredditorupdates by /u/LucyAriaRose on 2024-09-18 04:18:01+00:00.

I am STILL NOT the Original Poster. That is u/Amazing-Mention9502. She posted in r/AmItheAsshole and her own page.

There were two previous BORU posts. The latest was here. **Newest Updated marked with *******

Thanks to u/Junior-Group-1005 for letting me know about this!

Do NOT comment on Original Posts. The last update is a few months old, but was never posted on this sub.

Trigger Warning: abandonment

Mood Spoiler: sad, but OOP will be ok

Original Post: September 9, 2023

my father (41m) and my mother (40f) divorced three years ago. i live with my mother. my father remarried a year ago. his wife has two children (18f) (15m).

me (18f) and my dad got a matching tattoo two years ago. it was a simple outline tattoo of a photo of us.

after my dad got married, things started to get a bit more distant between us because he started to spend more time with his new family. besides that, i think he doesn’t want to see me around them. i don’t know why, after all, i’ve never treated his wife or stepchildren bad.

yesterday he refused to meet me on a weekend when we were supposed to spend time together saying he was unavailable and he reposted a story of him hanging out with his new family that. while looking at the photo i saw that he got a new tattoo on his arm. it was an outline tattoo of a photo of him with his new family, just like the tattoo he got with me.

now i know that millions of people have these tattoos and it’s not my original design. still i’m disappointed that he got a tattoo with his new family in the same style as ours because i always thought that tattoo was special between us. now i’m thinking of getting it covered or removed.

i called my dad in the evening and asked him why he was hanging out with his family instead of meeting me. he said they planned it earlier which doesn’t make sense because it was agreed in court after the divorce that I could spend time with my dad every weekend. so “we planned it earlier” is a pretty bullshit excuse. he also knows that i’m totally okay with spending time with his family. when i told him that he said “it’s not that simple.” i guess i’m too dumb to understand “complicated” things because he doesn’t even try to explain it lol.

then i asked him why he got his new tattoo in the same style as ours. he said he didn’t think it would be a problem for me. i told him “you broke something special between us, how can you not realize that? i think i’m going to get my tattoo covered. you can do the same.” in result he thinks i’m overreacting and i shouldn’t be so selfish.

my mom says what my dad did wasn’t such a bad thing. she thinks we should sit down and talk, i’m not sure. AITA?

edit: tomorrow i will try to talk to my dad face to face. i hope to discuss openly about whatever the issues are between us and find a way out. i don’t think my mind will change about the tattoo, but i will not rush to get it covered. thank you for your advice. if things go well i will also try to write an update.

Relevant Comments:

How did you get a tattoo at 16 and isn’t the mandatory visit court order not in place anymore?

not all tattoo artists are very law-abiding.

i turned 18 five months ago and of course the court order is no longer in force. this was our routine for three years, we didn’t break it as soon as i became an adult like “ok bye”. i just assumed that we hung out together on the weekends unless i was told otherwise."

More on how OOP feels/what they did in the past:

i never pushed him to meet every weekend for three years. when one of us had a reason, we didn’t meet anyway or met another day. still, if he’s bored with this routine, i think he needs to tell me straight. because it’s heartbreaking when he just says he’s busy and hangs out with his family and then just tells me “it’s not that simple”. and no, he didn’t take much action to make up for the less attention he gave me after the marriage.

there is no problem between him and my mom right now, they don’t talk unless it’s necessary. so i don’t think he is moving away because of mom.

it’s also the saddest thing for me that he’s enjoying life to the fullest now that i’m of legal age. maybe i’m speaking emotionally but it means that i’m a kind of prison for him. i don’t want to think that he’s been spending time with me because he “has to”.

i will talk to him, if he wants to move on to a new chapter of his life and give me less scene there he must say it clearly. thank you so much

(separate comment to the same commenter) btw, it is very difficult for me to change my mind about tattoo because aesthetics is not really an excuse. there were so many tat that he could have done without ruining the aesthetics of his body

it’s so okay to get one for his family, but i think he could have done it without messing something special between the two of us

Have there been issues with the other 18 year old now in your dad’s family? How about your new step-mom?

we haven’t really spent enough time together to have an issue.

his wife is generally kind to me, but i don’t know if she thinks bad about me

Update (Same Post): September 10, 2023 (Next Day)

this morning we had breakfast together and had a long talk. it turned out that the problem all this time was my stepsister. he told me that she was struggling with the whole marriage.

the reason he got the tattoo was to show her that he loves her as much as he loves me. he also said that she didn’t feel at ease around me, which i was really surprised about. we hadn’t fought once, and we hadn’t even been together long enough to have any disagreements. that’s why he didn’t invite me that day. he wanted to be a good father figure in her life. still, he said that i might get closer to my stepsiter in time, who knows when

he also said i can get my tattoo covered if i want, but he would never do that to his. for him, the tat still has the same special meaning. honestly, it would really make me feel like an ah to get mine covered while he keeps his, i’m not sure what to do

lastly, the hardest thing for me was finding out that they were moving to another state. his wife got a better paying job and he’s going to start a business with a friend there. he told me that he will be very busy with all the moving, but will spend as much time with me as possible until he moves. he also promised to visit me often after the move, which i don’t think he’ll be able to keep

i guess he’s really moving into a part of his life where i’m not in it, and there’s not much i can do about it. thank you all

Update 2 (Same Post): September 19, 2023 (9 days later)

today my stepbrother replied to my story and we started talking. i told him about the latest things and he told me a lot of things i didn’t know

he said that it’s true his sister doesn’t feel at ease around me, but she never said anything to my dad about not inviting me. in fact, her discomfort isn’t so great that she couldn’t stand to be in the same place with me. it was my stepmother who asked him not to invite me that day. and she came up with the whole idea of the tattoo

he said his mom doesn’t like my mom at all. he’s not sure if this is based on something or not. when i asked my mom about it, she said she never met that woman even once. i think her dislike for me comes from her baseless hatred for my mom and my dad played along with her

also, i didn’t mention here, but my dad told me they are moving in november. my stepbrother told me they are moving next week and that was the plan all along

he told me he is sorry for what happened to me and only told me these because he thought i had to know the truth. he also asked me not to let his mom know about this conversation.

my dad wasn’t really like that, he was a good man. i mean, all those lies, cutting me out of his life, that’s not like him. i don’t understand why he turned into such a person, but i really don’t want to talk to him once more to get it. he’s moving away next week anyway

i told my mom about this and asked her to call my dad, tell him that i would never see him again. my mother passed this on to him without mentioning the conversation. i also blocked my dad from everywhere

soon i will get the tattoo covered. luv you

*****Final Update Post**: February 19, 2024 (5 months later)*******

Title: matching tattoo update. i took a great revenge on my dad (no)

hi, i just login to this acct and see people asking how i’m doing <3 i want to give a little update but it’s not too cheerful :/

my dad really moved away that september, just before that he came to our house to talk but i couldn’t confront him. still i broke no contact. we ended up talking on the phone many times, he promised a lot that he would make thi…

Content cut off. Read original on https://old.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/1fjkaub/final_update_aita_my_dad_got_a_tattoo_in_the/

  • SpacehooksMEnglish
    1·
    1 day ago

    *****Final Update Post: February 19, 2024 (5 months later)*****

    Title: matching tattoo update. i took a great revenge on my dad (no)

    hi, i just login to this acct and see people asking how i’m doing <3 i want to give a little update but it’s not too cheerful :/

    my dad really moved away that september, just before that he came to our house to talk but i couldn’t confront him. still i broke no contact. we ended up talking on the phone many times, he promised a lot that he would make things right between us, he would come to visit me and he didn’t keep any of it. two weeks ago i stopped talking to him again

    i’ve also been going to therapy since the new year. it’s not only for my dad, i have other problems too. my therapist is really nice and she helps me a lot. apart from all this, my life is actually pretty good, i have my mom and friends who are there for me.

    lastly, i kept the tattoo. i couldn’t make a final decision about what to do and i think it will stay like that for some time.

    i don’t think i’ll be posting another update later so please take care <33333333333333

    Relevant Comment:

    Commenter: Hope you’re doing well and hopefully give us an update a few years later.

    OOP: i don’t think i’ll have an interesting life in a few years, but i’ll try to give an update, promise :)

    OOP Commented in April 2024 (2 months later):

    Commenter: do u have any plans on covering it up??

    OOP: still not sure

    (to another commenter): i’m thinking of getting different tattoo with my mom. still not sure if i want to cover the one with my dad