This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/bestofredditorupdates by /u/Choice_Evidence1983 on 2024-09-18 04:00:03+00:00.

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I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/Material_Sky_6179

Originally posted to r/tragedeigh

My cousin wants to spell their daughter’s name as Talaighlagh.

Trigger Warnings: entitlement, exploitation

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Original Post (unddit): September 9, 2024

Thoughts on this?

My cousin is expecting and we’re all happy for her especially me since we’re close in age and practically besties.

She decided on the name ‘Talayla’. Honestly I thought it was unique and cute and I thought it was spelled the same way it was pronounced so I congratulated her.

Yesterday she was showing me her custom baby blankets that had the name ‘Talaighlagh’ on it. So I asked about the spelling of the name, if it was a mistake but she clarified that it was correct and she wants to spell it as ‘Talaighlagh’ because it’s more bougie that way. I was shocked and i said that was a terrible spelling but she got upset because she thought that I knew about that spelling all along and now I’m backstabbing her.

I already apologized for the misunderstanding because to me it’s something not worth a fight. My main issue is how can I talk her out of that bougie spelling before it’s too late?

This is my first time posting on this sub, it seems fitting because that name is a tragedeigh and she’s not changing her mind.

I talked with her and here is what happened it went wrong and I just apologized rn

Relevant Comments

OOP on understanding why her cousin wants to use the name like this

OOP: Unfortunately many new parents are influenced by the naming trends and she’s one if them ☹️

How old is OOP’s cousin? She might be immature for her age based on her opinions

OOP: She’s 22 and im 18 ☹️ though I agree with immature part about her

 

Update: September 11, 2024

Some info : my cousin dropped out in year 11 of hs, and her baby daddy isn’t in the picture. Also I’m 18 and she’s 22. Here is what happened:

I went to my cousin’s place, we had tea and snacks. Naturally while chatting her unborn daughter was brought up. I asked if she was still planning to name her ‘Talaighlagh’ and she said yeah, so then I told her “I have to be honest with you, it’s terrible name, I think it’s a bad idea that you want to name your daughter as that”.

My cousin got upset after I told her all the reasons why it’s a terrible name, like how it sounds like word vomit, it’s impossible to pronounce and spell, it could impact her baby future and resumes etc.

I told her that her child would get bullied at school because of their name. My cousin said that she plans to homeschool/unschool her daughter so she won’t have to worry about bullying.

I told her that’s a stupid solution to this mess and practically child abuse, isolating her daughter and not wanting her to interact with other people because she knows from the very start ‘Talaighlagh’ is a terrible name and not acceptable.

My cousin said that she wouldn’t change her taste to adhere to other people and she had already ordered lots of custom baby stuff like onesies and pillows around 800 dollars worth.

I told her that money isn’t a big problem compared to the name ‘Talaighlagh’ and for most of the stuff she can ask for a refund. As for the unrefundable things, me and the family, even people online would be more than happy to pay money for them, we just want her to change the baby’s name. ( This upset her because she wants to be independent as a single mum and not rely on other people for money, especially out of pity).

Then she said that I was doing too much butting in when it’s not my place. I got surprised by this comment since we’re really close and I helped her a lot after she got pregnant because most of the family members shunned her (because she has an unstable life) and her baby daddy left her. Though I supported her, to me she’s always been an older sister figure. I helped by setting up the nursery, cleaning around her apartment, going with her to appointments etc.

I told her she was acting like a bitch and I might as well be her baby daddy since I was with her every step of the pregnancy.

She starts crying and says that she doesn’t want my help anymore and I’m free to leave like everyone leaves her. I tell her that she pushes people away by her stupid actions and then she cries more.

I tell her that she has a choice, either change her baby’s name and keep our relationship or she stays with the name ‘Talaighlagh’ and I out her to the family ( she hasn’t told anyone in the family about her baby’s name because she knows they won’t accept it).

She says that she doesn’t care about the family members because they didn’t accept her when she got pregnant (which is true though the real reason why the family didn’t accept her pregnancy is because she’s a drop out and unstable in most aspects of life).

Then I leave and go home.

After a couple of hours I call her and ask if she has calmed down, she says yes and she’s thinking about what I said. I said does that mean she’s going to change the baby’s name? She said maybe, maybe not. Then I pull my secret card and send her my original post (this one) and tell her to read the comments because they’re an accurate reaction to her baby’s name.

She reads a couple of comments and then gets mad at me for sharing her personal stuff online without her consent and says I invaded her privacy and she’ll take it to court etc.

Honestly I got tired so I just blocked her (on WhatsApp)

Edit : I apologized and she said we’ll talk later so idk

Relevant Comments

OOP should be staying out of her cousin’s business on how she names her future children

OOP: I don’t think you understand how severe naming a kid ‘Talaighlagh’ is. I was nice at the beginning i gave her reasons like how it would impact the kid’s future and cause bullying but her reponse was to homeschool/unschool to avoid a problem like that. Considering the fact she willingly dropped out, you can imagine how well that would go. And she hasn’t told anyone about the name because she knows she’s in the wrong. Being in a tough place is not an excuse to ruin a child’s life by given them a terrible name.

Crazy when I was cleaning, setting up the nursery and even going to doctor’s appointments with her I wasn’t told that I was butting in ☹️.

OOP on her family’s first language

OOP: We’re not even English, we’re Asian and English is our 2nd language

We’re not religious. We’re Asian and our second language is English. Also talayla is a name she made up and she wants to spell it as Talaighlagh because to her it’s more bougie

OOP shouldn’t be butting in her cousin’s business

OOP: I’m butting in because I’m close. I supported her, did lots of physical labor , cleaned her apartment, went to doctor’s appointments with her, and set up the baby nursery. I’ve seen her every other day fo all 18 years of my life. If I wasn’t butting in all of those details then how am I butting in now? Unless it was just free labor that she wanted out of me, to work and not say a word to her ☹️

In my first post she called me backstabber because I didn’t know she wanted to spell ‘talayla’ as ‘Talaighlagh’. Though I apologized to her even though she wrong. I thought that it wasn’t worth a fight because she’s pregnant. But still not an excuse to name a kid ‘Talaighlagh’.

OOP on her relationship with her cousin

OOP: Well i apologized and spoke to her. She’s calmed down.

Also i stepped in because I was the only one willing to help and she let me. She can’t cut me off because we agreed I’m babysitting her child daily in the future and cleaning for her. And now I’m thinking about it it’s a bit toxic to me because its free childcare and i gain nothing 😕 I went to every doctor’s appointment with her to the point I was considered like a second parent. She can’t just pick and chose when she wants me and when she doesn’t. She should’ve made it clear because to me it all feels like free labor I’ve done.

And it’s not just about the name but also the implications. Homeschooling/Unschooling her daughter and isolating her just because she doesn’t want to change that name is abuse. Someone pointed out she didn’t even think about the future or how she’s going to care for the child after I finish college and can’t babysit.

Commenter: How in the goddesses name do you pronounce this?

OOP: Pronounced Ta-lay-la

 

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