• Cromalin [she/her]@hexbear.netOPMEnglish
      38·
      10 months ago

      i had multiple conversations where i explained how hormones and surgeries worked and how to get them with people who later said they hadn’t noticed any signs

  • Erika3sis [she/her, xe/xem]@hexbear.netEnglish
    33·
    10 months ago

    I have no idea how many paragraphs of Facebook posts I’ve written about trans issues as a Totally Cis Person, and how many more draft paragraphs have gone unshared lest I look just a bit too invested in the topic… All I know is that I came out to most of my family as a “male crossdresser” at some point in 2021, and was not afraid to flaunt my perhaps concerning knowledge of feminizing hormone therapy when my cisfem and transfem cousins were discussing their hormones about a month ago.

    So I am this close to the finish line, but I’m still afraid to cross it once and for all… I don’t plan on transitioning until I live alone and can afford it, but part of me almost wants to be outed just so that I don’t actually need to assert myself and my needs.

    Edit: Hell, at this point I’m pretty sure nobody even remembers that I came out as a crossdresser.

      • Erika3sis [she/her, xe/xem]@hexbear.netEnglish
        22·
        10 months ago

        And yet the cis still can’t seem to figure it out! The apparent only consequences of me coming out as a crossdresser was a confused aunt getting me a 1980s My Little Pony t-shirt for Christmas, and me getting to come out as a trans woman to my mom (even though I’m also non-binary, but I don’t need to make things more complicated than they need to be tbh). All those Facebook posts I’ve written about trans issues are basically inconsequential because the algorithm doesn’t show them to any of my relatives, and even the people who do get shown the posts don’t actually bother to read them. So in practice, for most of my relatives, my hints are few and far between, and are pretty much all immediately forgotten. Nobody’s reading into any of this stuff nearly as much as I am.

        At this point I’m basically Love Is War-ing this shit because being asked “Are you, like, trans or something?” is enormously preferable to just outright saying “I’m trans, by the way.”.

        • AcidSmiley [she/her]@hexbear.netEnglish
          15·
          10 months ago

          being asked “Are you, like, trans or something?” is enormously preferable to just outright saying “I’m trans, by the way.”.

          Wait till you get your first taste of knowing what it’s like to be out and proud.

        • Zuzak [fae/faer, she/her]@hexbear.netEnglish
          13·
          10 months ago

          I’m in a similar boat tbh. I wrote like three or four coming out letters to my parents but chickened out each time. My plan now is to just keep feminizing without bringing it up until one day I just come home with tits and we’ll see what happens.

          It’s hard to remember when we deal with it every day, but it’s just so outside a lot of people’s experiences that they don’t even consider it. That, or when they do notice they don’t want to bring it up.

    • Cromalin [she/her]@hexbear.netOPMEnglish
      14·
      10 months ago

      in my case it was because i kept looking up what hormones would do to me and feeling wistful, there’s plenty of cis people who know a lot about trans issues

      • pooh [she/her, any]@hexbear.netMEnglish
        16·
        10 months ago

        Hmmmm… Yeah I usually don’t think I would be trans just because I don’t feel like I have a strong desire to switch genders completely, and I don’t think I have strong physical dysphoria. However, I also am (and I think always have been) uncomfortable with my “maleness” in a lot of ways, and a lot of things I’m reading here apply to me. Also kind of related I guess, yesterday I was talking in a discord chat about how in high school I’d sometimes paint my nails or wear this skirt I had, and I was thinking people probably have suspicions with me talking about that. Really I think maybe I’m a bit more non-binary than I feel like I’m allowed to be, but I’m also physically very “male” so I don’t realistically know what I could possibly do with that information in the real world. shrug-outta-hecks

        • Cromalin [she/her]@hexbear.netOPMEnglish
          6·
          10 months ago

          if you feel like you’d like to go by different pronouns or wear more fem clothes i know plenty of fairly masculine people who do that. obviously it depends on your circumstances, but you could definitely change up the pronouns you use online if you want to experiment with how that feels

          • pooh [she/her, any]@hexbear.netMEnglish
            6·
            10 months ago

            if you feel like you’d like to go by different pronouns or wear more fem clothes i know plenty of fairly masculine people who do that.

            Much thanks for the advice. I might try the pronouns thing at some point just to see how it feels. As far wearing more fem clothes, that would be difficult in real life at the moment, I think. I have been doing a little bit of that online in VRChat and will probably keep experimenting with that since it’s cheaper and easier to do virtually.