Everything reminds me of them—everything. It sounds ridiculous but just about every fucking thing reminds me of them. My friends remind me of them. I’m so tired of being in pain.

I don’t know where to fucking go or what I’m going to fucking do. I want to get a car or something first and my driver’s license but that will take forever, if it will even happen. And then I have to fucking start over from scratch somewhere else.

This is so fucking cruel. My life is completely fucked. It’s either this fucking bleak option, keep waking up in pain and get addicted to fucking heroin, or work up the courage to kill myself.

“Moving on” isn’t an option because anyone who tells me that is a stupid piece of shit who has no idea what it’s like to be me.

I hate this I hate this I FUCKING HATE THIS. I’m going to die all because I was emotionally fucked from an early age. I was damned from the fucking moment I was born. I can’t live with this fucking shame and this fucking bullshit.