Over the years, I’ve seen many folk talking about their relationship with femininity and how it relates to their transition and to their sense of identity, of who they are.
I’ve never understood it though. I don’t feel like I have a relationship with femininity, or at least, nothing beyond pragmatic necessity. It doesn’t relate to my sense of identity or who I am. In many ways, it feels like an obligation, rather than a source of empowerment or self understanding.
So, I’m curious how it works for other folk who find empowerment in it. What does it mean to you? How did it help you find yourself? How do you relate to femininity now vs earlier in your life?
Edit - To add some context. I’m 7 years transitioned, and “post transition” for want of a better term. I’m quite comfortable with my own relationship (or lack of it) with femininity. This is more an exercise in trying to understand different perspectives :)
Kinda feel the same even if I follow some of the transfem tropes. But I think at least for me, part of the reason I find gender and feminity/masculinity is simply because my early childhood didn’t enforce those things. My mom presents in a masculine way and didn’t care if we behaved in ways not conforming to gender norms at home. If someone wanted to wear a pink one piece bathing suit, it didn’t matter if they were a boy or a girl.
Even now, the ones who tell me I should trim my nails are the women in my family, whom keep their nails short. Of course the rest of society was not as open to such behavior and I learned subconsciously to mask a lot.
Also disclaimer I don’t consider myself a woman and am pre-transition (partly because uncertainty about what I want, partly because fear of treatment by others).