Background+rant: I’m in my early to mid-20s and still living at home with my dad. I’m not a NEET and am employed at a normal office job. I enjoy the comfort of my home. I like being with family (and I believe they feel blessed to have their kid at home longer). I like not having to pay rent. However, I also keep feeling some nagging pressure to “grow up and leave the nest”.

Everything in my mind tells me that moving out is irrational. I would lose 1/3rd of my income to rent, go through a bunch of logistical hoops to find a new place, lose the last few moments I have with my family, just so I can prove to nobody that I’m independent, maybe discover new things, and also probably get in on some of that loneliness action that the rest of my generation is going through.

Yet, the pressure is still there. No one looks down on me for it, but I feel a bit embarrassed to tell people I’m living at home, like I’m admitting failure or incompetency. My friends will occasionally ask when I’m planning on moving out and the question just lingers longer than it should in my head. I compare myself to my parents and grandparents and can’t help but feel like a child compared to the people they were when they were at my age.

Obviously quite conflicted on this, so I’m interested in seeing what others have to say.

  • deadcatbounce
    4·
    4 months ago

    We haven’t seen this ‘them and us’ financial divide for a century or more.

    In those times generations of families lived together. Until there’s another reset to allow the middle classes to thrive again, this is the new normal.

    That said, the middle classes have been being silly and trying to keep up with each other and bankrupting themselves. Houses are at very high prices because people will pay higher prices: both parties in a relationship working and paying someone else, school or nanny, or child care to parent their kids. A divorced couple or a high proportion of singles needs double the number of houses as a couple. Leasing brand new cars. Eating out or takeaway every night … bigger and bigger government. It all costs.

    Add in stupid net zero emissions policy for tiny nations like the UK, rather than tackle the real polluting nations and you’ve got kids living at home looking after elderly parents until they die and they can have a house to themselves.

    The number of children per household many nations have is already well below replacement rate. So at least you won’t be battling for mum and dad’s house with your sibling. Look on the bright side! 😁