• Boomkop3
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    7 months ago

    OP’s mom was responsible for making them a productive, happy, independent person. But she clearly failed, that’s on her

    • PaupersSerenade@sh.itjust.works
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      7 months ago

      I don’t think anyone knows the green text poster in question, so it could be either honestly. ‘You can lead a horse to water’ and all of that

      • Boomkop3
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        7 months ago

        Human children aren’t horses, and I know being a parent is difficult, and that you might fail. And even if you do fail it might not be your fault, but it is still your responsibility.

        You made the kid after all, you put them in the weakest state any human could ever be.

        Plenty of people try to convince themselves otherwise, but you didn’t give that kid a choice in wether they wanted to live

        • PaupersSerenade@sh.itjust.works
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          7 months ago

          I’m not comparing children to horses, it’s a proverb. You’ve created a really detailed narrative around a green text (meme) that I don’t really feel like playing along with.

          PS; I am not the mother of this green text, not sure why you’re framing it like that

          • Rodeo@lemmy.ca
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            7 months ago

            Really detailed narrative?

            The only detail necessary is that she has an adult NEET son.

          • Boomkop3
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            7 months ago

            Sure, let’s expand on your proverb, and use it as a methaphor. The parents are responsible for the horse needing to drink in the first place. Even though they can’t make them drink, it is still their responsibility. When it doesn’t drink, that’s on them: they caused the situation leading to that failure

            • WeirdGoesPro@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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              6 months ago

              Resenting your parents for you being alive is one of the more juvenile hurdles that people tend to get over at some point in their teens. I am a little curious as to what your reasoning is for being unable to move beyond the perceived injustice of incarnation.

              Your parents were born, just like you were. Is it your grandparents fault that they put that suffering on your parents who passed it on to you? What about their parents? And their parents? Which generation should have been sterilized to dodge your suffering?

              Depending on your beliefs, your culprit is either Adam or Homo-Erectus. Better still, let’s blame the fish that walked, or the amoeba in the tide pool.

              It’s time to get over it.

              • Boomkop3
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                5 months ago

                That’s not how responsibility works, my mom’s choices aren’t my grandparents fault and my choices aren’t my mom’s

    • krashmo@lemmy.world
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      7 months ago

      Only children think this way. Sure, your parents are supposed to teach you how to do things but if they don’t or if they do a bad job of it you’re still an asshole if you don’t at least try to figure it out for yourself.

      • Boomkop3
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        7 months ago

        Sometimes you get lucky as a parent and your kids do, sometimes you need to teach them. That’s a risk you take when making kids

    • Franzia@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      7 months ago

      Yea genuinely like I want to become productive but my parents have been so controlling that they’ve stopped me over and over again. Being a NEET at 26 does not happen in a vacuum.

      • Vincent Adultman@lemmy.world
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        7 months ago

        My mom would complain that me or any of my brothers weren’t working, but the minute we got jobs she would say anything for us to quit it. Same thing with college, never a word of positivity, just eventually say “why u going through all of this? Quit”. It’s hard being in this kind of toxic environment, consider that your mom is the one that gave you resources such as confidence, dealing with frustration, etc. Being this ambivalent make you question how insecure you raise a child (check John Bowlby). I am not taking away responsibility from anon, but things are complex and sometimes we need help to see clearer and get out of the house.

      • bane_killgrind@kbin.social
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        7 months ago

        Basically it’s either a shit environment or medical issues that make people turn out this way.

        Plenty of people are successful in spite of those things, it’s not really fair to hold up who got lucky as the standard.