Oh, that’s good to know, thank you!

Thank you! My name was feedthebeest.

Ok, thank you. I wasn’t worried about it not being approved yet, I just assumed that having an email might have been a requirement because they’re being relatively strict about signups and not having an email address is often a quick filter for keeping out undesireables.

My first one was in 2008, when I was a high school junior. On one hand it felt good to be there with the one friend I was out to, and I ended up feeling really close to him because he spent the day dealing with me and my big swell of emotions.

On the other hand, I felt kind of invisible still, and like I didn’t really fit into the wider queer community. There wasn’t a lot of bi presence, and there seemed to be a bit of an undercurrent of that being seen as “cheating.” Even if I don’t identify primarily as bi anymore, that still leaves a bad taste in my mouth all these years later.

And then some kids were canvassing for Obama support as well, and that made it feel a little weird. Not bad per se, just weird.

I always have such mixed feelings about pride.

On one hand, I love the idea of us being queer in public, and from a USA perspective, I feel like that aspect is especially important in the current political climate.

But on a more personal level…I’m not a white twink, I’m cis, and I’m not like…visibly queer so much? So I’ve felt a – possibly misjudged – sentiment that none of the groups at any Pride activities actually want me there, be they the party crowd, the activist crowd or the thirsty crowd.

So to finally answer the actual question, kinda nothing. I’m not engaging with rainbow capitalism (except I did buy Thirsty Sword Lesbians, so I am still down with supporting queer creators), I’m not doing any parades, etc.

I think there may also be a bit of a defensive reaction in that without the full context, there’s sort of an implication that Beehaw admin thinks everyone on these other two instances are just terrible people. Couple that with Beehaw’s…erm…opinionated language, and it’s a recipe for hurt feelings.

I’ve seen some comments mentioning that it feels like guilt by association, and it seems somewhat reasonable to take that personally – especially as people are still wrapping their heads around how federation works and how blunt the mod tools are at this stage.

I also think there’s maybe some harsh feelings over the idea that Beehaw’s ideal state is Beehaw users being able to comment on other instances but not the other way around. There’s some sentiment I’ve seen that this amounts to Beehaw taking the big communities for itself and hanging everyone else out to dry. I don’t really think that’s Beehaw’s intention, but when the big conversations appear to be happning behind closed doors, it makes sense that some feathers would be ruffled.

And last, I’ve seen some users commenting that the only reason the two defederated instances got users is because the signups are open and anyone who was put off by Beehaw’s registration either can’t use words effectively or was born to antagonize Beehaw’s users. I really don’t think that antagonistic view other other instances’ users is helpful, and it’s definitely making the situation on the ground worse. For example, the reason I didn’t register with Beehaw is that I just couldn’t think of any actual reason I wanted in there versus anywhere else – I just wanted to be where the people were, so I could use a social platform to talk to strangers, and the way Beehaw’s reg page is worded, it sounds like this would likely not be a good enough reason to be allowed to participate there. So I just went somewhere else that seemed more interested in having me around.

So i guess for anyone who bothers to read this, please don’t lump all users from the defederated instances under a banner of “degenerates” or whatever. They seem to really be taking it to heart, and I think it’s more hurt feelings than actual antagonism for anyone who didn’t personally harrass anyone.