There’s no way an 80 year old woman has the life experience to compare to a 300-1,000 year old elf. There’s an inherent power discrepancy.

Also immortal. And hypersexual.

He will live to 125, at minimum. This is our life now.

Yes, and thus not as dangerous as a bear.

Checkmate.

Speaking for myself, I definitely became “that guy who wouldn’t shutup about the diet he was on,” so that may be part of it.

Likewise.

I didn’t truly understand cravings until I started keto. Those first few weeks as you’re getting into ketosis are something else. Suddenly, “I want this very specific snack more than anything else on earth.”

Honestly, it must just feel like the whole world is against them.

$10 says it happened once.

Me want da punani see for make me nice,
Me love the way you walk sometimes,
The way you talk is so hot,
Now you know let’s have a shot of rum,
Then me can make you come
With me to the ocean
That would be phat
You can be my bow cat
Nice ital breeze
Bring you to your knees
We’re jammin’

I’ve only seen the original movie, but I don’t see how anyone can top Chris Pine and Zachary Quinto.

Mmmm.

“How much cream in your coffee, sir?”

“Oh, just give me a bukkake, please!”

During one of the plagues in Egypt, only the families with blood on their doorposts were spared by God.

I handle all my own rimjobs. It was difficult at first, but learning to be flexible when these problems arise is ultimately a very satisfying endeavor.

It’s an incredible name. He could be anything he wanted, including a superhero.

Seems like a really slow way to make corn.

Everywhere I look, something reminds me of her.

From an Old Testament perspective, this could be seen as the ultimate kindness.

Max Vigilant? Seriously?