Dr. Zoidberg

It’s been over a decade since I answered a call from a number that wasn’t programmed into my phone. I won’t return the call unless a voicemail is left.

Some gouda puns here.

Why not?

They’re still black, but they used to be too.

I was gonna make one to troll them, but you can’t make an account without linking a phone number, and I actually use my Google voice account.

Mama needs to go to fat camp and shed a few pounds.

It helps if you still have friends that work at the company, that can kind of spy for you too.

An older woman was fired from the company I worked at in the early 2000s, and she was friends with a few people that still worked at the company. Found out she was replaced with a younger less qualified guy, and her friends were able to corroborate a lot of the ageism/sexism stuff, and she won the suit. Think she ended up being awarded something like whatever her salary was until the age of retirement, and ended up with close to a million dollar settlement.

Love the motivational poster for your server.

But what about the thousands of bald eagles they kill?! Checkmate librul!

/s in case

First off, it’s Dr. I didn’t get a doctorate in art studies to be called Mr.

Second off, do you hug your food before you eat it?

I like how that nig morphed into never gonna give you up.

Real subtle.

Why is it dripping down your leg? Are you hugging your garbage when you take it out?

I fucking hate this state. I’ve been here for 9 months, and hate every part of it. The water is fucking disgusting, the heat is absurd, the traffic is ridiculous, the roads are shit, the beaches are shit, the people are… mentally handicapped is the nicest way to put it, the food is meh at best unless you want Cuban or something fried. There are absolutely no cultural things, like museums or anything that’s not hick crap. Went to a ship museum in Tampa with my kids, and it was a rusted out hulk of a boat.

Enjoy the cultural overload of the excess of museums, including the Nimitz, the amazing and huge variety of food, the cooler weather, really good pizza, and amazing pizza if you get closer to NYC, water that doesn’t smell like sewage until it’s ran for a minute or 2, water that doesn’t destroy your pots pans, and basically rust everything, you lucky bastard.

Oh yeah, and go fruit picking other than oranges, because you can just hit up dozens and dozens of orchards for all kinds of fruit picking, without sweating your balls off, pretty much any time of year.

Also, it’s called pork roll. Anyone that tells you it’s Taylor Ham is a monster, because Taylor Ham is the company that makes pork roll. Pork Roll with egg and cheese is a cure-all. Hangover, depression, snacky, quick breakfast, hungry, and dying? Yeah pork roll with egg and cheese on a roll will solve all your problems. If you have extra problems, add bacon and double meat. Pork roll with bacon, egg, and cheese on a hard roll will cure all your problems.

Both of y’all are melting American brains trying to do the math on figuring out what times you’re talking about.

Most Americans have no clue that 13:00 is 1:00pm because 12+1 is too difficult, and God help you if you say 22:00, because 22-12 might as well be euclidean geometry.

To be fair, Republican men prefer to bottom on top. It’s because you can only get so deep if you’re a bottom on bottom.

Are we gonna include school shooting deaths in those vacancies? Because for some absolutely unknown reason American schools suffer from mysterious shooting deaths multiple times a year. It’s so strange and mysterious and there is absolutely no way to stop it. Like, there is literally nothing to do about all the school shootings every single year for the last few decades.

I still live like I have limited minutes, and can honestly say I don’t think I’ve used more than maybe…20 minutes a month? Maybe less. I just checked my last 3 bills, and t-mobile doesn’t list minutes anymore.

Bobble Heads were never really cool, and that’s all Funko Pops ever were.

I think a couple apps restarted on Lemmy around the same time Sync came out. I know boost showed up, and I’ve seen a bunch of newly released app announcement threads in the last week.

Probably a combination of new and better apps. I know I basically just lurked until sync came out. It just feels familiar, and all the features I want are just here. The only thing I think I want, is to see how many down votes are on posts, but it’s literally the only thing I can think of.

Having lived in NJ most of my life, and recently driving almost cross country to FL, the only benefits of living in FL is that there are like never any lines waiting for gas, and I don’t have to wait for a guy to come out. I just pull up, fill up, and GTFO.