FailedAtAdulting [she/her, comrade/them]

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Joined 2 months ago
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Cake day: May 1st, 2024

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  • I’m kinda in two minds about it.

    On the one hand, I was was a late developer who suddenly found herself being one of the smartest kids in class. Going from 0-100 in a span of 2 years was a very weird place to be, and if I had to be made fun of for something, I’d prefer it to be because I’m such a damn nerd rather than being a fucking dumbass. I guess that’s where the wanting to be special comes from - maybe it’s to compensate for being at the bottom of my school/town’s hierarchy for so long? On the other hand, I also want to lay low and be invisible and absolutely hate being in the spotlight.

    So yeah, I’m pretty much the meme - inside me there’s two wolves, and they’re both fighting about whether I should strive to be “special” or just do something because it’s fun and helpful, not because I want validation. Oof internal struggle session, not fun. But I can’t wait until that inner reactionary dies.