There’s a question in this one, for that sweet sweet engagement. Today I’m reading

04/16/09 - "John: Read COLONEL SASSACRE’S DAUNTING TEXT.” (/homestuck/32) to 04/16/09 - “John: Examine GameBro Magazine… (homestuck/41)”

Select this thingy to read my commentary

John is holding a huge book Colonels Sassacre’s Daunting Text of Magical Frivolity and Practical Japery If the Colonel was based on a real person I’m totally unable to find them. The pure Scope of Homestuck has overwhelmed the internet so now they are only a Homestuck related character. I’d like to imagine he was a real and particularly annoying member of some military force known for being a practical joker. Anyway John opts to not take this gigantic tome of wisdom but again takes his arms again.

Reporting back to TurntechGodhand [TG] we learn of another of Johns who we have not yet met who we can assume has the handle tentcleTherapist [TT]. TG feels that TT is “mackin on him hard”, TG is a bit cringe.

TG also gives more of an explanation of how Johns stack _SYLLADEX _ thing works and how to actually arm himself for combat. Using the STRIFE SPECIBUS John decides to spec himself as a hammer user given that he has a hammer for hanging that poster.

We do get a peek at the full STRIFE SPECIBUS and there’s a lot of neat choices on there. I found a more detailed/readable version on the fandom wiki . I think I’d be a ladlekind, serve up some sweet justice soup.

If you’re following along tell me what your strife spec would be and why?

TG informs John that his choice is permanent. But with some inventory space cleared John can now take the gigantic Colonels Sassacre’s Daunting Text into his inventory. Apparently this is necessary to read the book which is a bit weird because he can read other things just fine. Perhaps this is a result of its size and John’s perceived lack of arms.

John also wants to get and read the Game Bro magazine on his desk. I’m not sure if GameBro is meant to represent a specific game magazine but for those not old enough to be functional in those years Game Magazines were a big deal in the 90’s. This was also the time of Nintendo’s “play it loud” campaign and the great Nintendo-Sega Console wars. Things were very “in your face” and “cool”.

So we’ll see what GameBro has to say tomorrow…


Till tomorrow, Keep riding the pumpkin tide.