• Fester@lemm.ee
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      9 months ago

      For your comfort and convenience, this update deactivates the part of your brain that makes you think you dislike advertisements, among other bug fixes and improvements.

    • SuperDuper@lemmy.world
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      9 months ago

      then they’ll become subscriptions with ads

      The credit card on file has expired, please update your payment information within 72 hours or you will lose access to your brain function.

    • ackzsel@kbin.social
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      8 months ago

      The function of an ad is to manipulate your behavior. If an implant can do this directly ads aren’t needed anymore.

  • alienanimals@lemmy.world
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    9 months ago

    Downvote Musk spam.

    The billionaire doesn’t need your help ensuring him and his businesses stay in the 24 hour news cycle. Don’t be a useful idiot.

    • ram@bookwormstory.social
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      9 months ago

      Downvote Elon Musk spam spam.

      The billionaire doesn’t need a PR team to downplay his outright foolishness. Don’t be a useful idiot.

    • jtk@lemmy.sdf.org
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      9 months ago

      I’m all for promoting the shit out of this. The more idiots that kill themselves signing up, the better off we all are.

    • Gamoc@lemmy.world
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      8 months ago

      Just try be clear, you’re saying this article that suggests Elon musk will literally physically destroy people’s actual real brains in search of profit after similarly murdering hundreds of monkeys is promoting him?

  • darq@kbin.social
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    9 months ago

    If you are allowing a company that Elon Musk of all people is involved in to operate on your head, maybe the damage has already been done.

    I’m all for transhumanism, and I sincerely hope that the people who are hopeful for Neuralink to be therapeutic for their condition find some relief. But nobody should trust anything Elon Musk touches with their brain.

  • Fades@lemmy.world
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    9 months ago

    can literally only end in disaster, just like the monkeys that were tortured to death for Musk’s neuralink bullshit (he wants to rush to human testing btw)

    • lightnsfw
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      9 months ago

      I’m all for it. Let any idiot that wants to allow that asshole to put a chip in their head get it. They can all speedrun themselves out of society.

    • YⓄ乙 @aussie.zone
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      9 months ago

      I read it somewhere that these monkeys are bred for testing purpose just like chickens and cows are bred for human consumption but not sure how true it is.

      • McKee@lemmy.world
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        9 months ago

        Just as it still makes it not right for cows and chickens it makes it not right for monkeys. Or would you be OK if I was breeding humans for slavery purposes?

        • YⓄ乙 @aussie.zone
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          9 months ago

          Woah! You didn’t get the point. Life must be really hard for ya. What did you understand after reading my comment ?

          • HerrBeter@lemmy.world
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            9 months ago

            It still fails the ethics part, lab animals are purpose bred however it should be scrutinised by a board of ethics

  • Starkstruck@lemmy.world
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    9 months ago

    The biggest reason to never put anything like this in your brain is the idea that they could put ads in your brain.

    • Spaghetti_Hitchens@kbin.social
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      9 months ago

      You hereby give Daddy Musk the right to:

      • power of attorney
      • collect sensitive information such as pin numbers and passwords
      • insert ads into your dreams and waking thoughts
      • monitor, influence, regulate, and terminate all subconscious and conscious thought as deemed necessary
      • stream your vision during sexy time
  • jtk@lemmy.sdf.org
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    9 months ago

    Anyone that would let that idiot near their brains already killed themselves putting light inside the body.

  • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
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    8 months ago

    I notice Elon has never signed up to go up in one of his rockets. I wonder how quickly he’ll sign up to get one of his brain implants?

  • DreamButt@lemmy.world
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    9 months ago

    Personally I’m a fan of us further researching biological advancements for aiding people. Stuff like genetic engineering is amazing. Like to imagine there’s a future were you could get a yearly shot of anti-cancer bio-bots that basically clean your system. Or a shot for anti-senescence that repairs DNA and resets the clock on your cells

    • SatanicNotMessianic@lemmy.ml
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      9 months ago

      Great! Most people feel the same way!

      The problem is that most of us who go into scientific research involving human subjects have about a decade’s worth of increasingly specialized education on a specific subject, have worked in a junior capacity in study design, execution, and analysis, and were generally not billionaires trying to become the first trillionaire.

      There’s a reason why academic research works the way it does - because we learned the hard way.

      The Tuskegee experiment carried out by the US Public Health Service and the CDC was a program in which black American males were deliberately infected with syphilis and left untreated, so that researchers could watch the profession of the disease. The program didn’t officially end until 1972. Just yesterday I read a news story about a doctor successfully being sued for giving prisoners, without their consent, high doses of Ivermectin to treat Covid, going off of his intuition and the idea that he was qualified to do medical research.

      When I was doing this kind of work, I had to go through something called a Human Studies Board. Every university has one. The HSB is a team of senior researchers which will review your proposal to make sure what you’re asking to do is both justified and does no harm to your subjects. If they say “no,” you’re going back to the drawing board. I have had PhD students whose thesis research had to go through multiple revisions because the HSB felt that they weren’t properly controlling for potential harm. Bit there were not billions of dollars on the line, and I didn’t have billions in personal wealth and the ability to influence the HSB.

      Another example: About ten or so years ago, Facebook decided to run an experiment in which they promoted sad news stories to some people, and happy news stories to others. They then followed up on those individuals’ posts to see if the former group became noticeably depressed. They did. Facebook did this without the users’ consent, and didn’t make provisions for followup with any human subjects who did become depressed. Some of their subjects may have committed acts of violence or self-harm because of pre-existing psychological states. They have no idea. They just came up with the hypothesis that sad news might make people sad, and ran with it. It was unethical. I do not believe they faced any consequences other than the researchers and the company being universally berated in the academic community.

      We are researching brain implants. That’s already underway in universities around the world. Elon wants to move fast and break things to make it go faster, but in this case the “things” are people.

      So you have Elon, who is legendary in the industry for thinking he’s very much smarter than he is and pushing his experts into screwing things up. You have his vast wealth as well as a drive to create more wealth (academic researchers very rarely grow wealthy from their discoveries and rarely have wealth as a driving factor).

      We are already doing what you’re asking for. I have a colleague at one of the top US university that’s specifically researching telomere repair and other aspects of DNA-focused methods to prevent some of the effects of aging, and I’ve personally done modeling on the molecular biology associated with deregulation and cancer in grad school.

      We would be better off if the government would just take Elon’s money and use it to fund actual scientific research.

    • richieadler@lemmy.myserv.one
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      9 months ago

      They will sell you biochips with expiration dates and the updates will be increasingly expensive. If you don’t pay they’ll dissolve and you’ll end as a drooling idiot at 50.