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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/lalaland554 on 2023-10-07 00:06:08.

So I (30F) and my husband (32M) have been married for 2 years, we have one child (1M). My husband recently obtained his dream job of being a police officer. Where I am from you go to police College after being hired for 3 months, and his police force does an additional 2 months after. Both places this training occurs is about 3 hours away, so he lives there Monday to Friday evening, and comes home Friday night until Sunday morning. I work a stressful job and am and will remain the breadwinner in my role, I recently found daycare for my son for my 9-5 job.

From Monday to Friday I am absolutely doing everything myself, I take care of our son, dog, home, everything alone since my husband doesn’t live here. He is essentially only home Saturday the full day, and this is the only time I would get a break from running everything, or even just showering alone, poop alone etc.

Here is the dilemma, he agreed when he comes on the weekends I would get a break as his evenings at school are his to workout, relax, do homework whatever. On this upcoming Saturday, he booked a tee time as a rain check from a previous golf time earlier in the summer. The money already was paid and He booked a Tee time with his brother for the Saturday morning. It’s about an hour drive from our house to the golf course (2 hour round trip) and 18 holes can take them anywhere from 4-5.5 hours depending on speed of play. I tried to say it’s not fair he uses the only day he is home to be essentially gone most of the day to golf. He said he wants time for himself too, but when I suggested play 9 instead he flat out said no And that he booked it and he was just telling me what he was doing Saturday.

So aita for making this a big deal and being really upset? I just feel like I do everything to hold down our home and family and he doesn’t care and even when he has the opportunity to come home, spend time with us, and lighten the load a bit and be a family, he chooses a stupid game over us…

Edit: he thinks I’m the asshole because he doesn’t see that he wants time to himself too to unwind from his week, but from my perspective, he gets that by living away, not having go worry about any house responsibilities,cooking etc. His whole week is just focusing on school and himself