we’re back after an absence. unfortunately my week has kicked off with a full day of completely dying from eating too much food, then my body rejecting food–this is not ideal, obviously. also my internal clock is messed up and i’m way behind on some stuff
I’m a hot mess (hot, at least, according to my wife) but I’m having fun so I have that going for me.
Been pretty stressed out lately, lots of intrapersonal issues, depressing news, large changes to my schedule as well as my wife’s, trying to find something new to get us out of the house and “away from the world”.
I’m excited to make dinner though, drove to Detroit last week and got a bunch of really nice dried mushrooms that I’m going to make a soup with. Wifey is bloated so hopefully it will make her feel a little better.
I ‘adopted’ a cute femboy fox who came to SF at the beginning of pride month to experience a new city and life and cheer up from their depression. This is the fifth person I’ve ended up giving a spot to live for an undefined period of time and currently the third person at my house who isn’t paying rent. It’s weird to be in enough of a place of privilege to be able to give back in little ways like this.
Reflecting on this, in my early twenties I used to hate living with other people- I found them mostly inconsiderate and I tolerated their presence only because they shared the rent. Over time I’ve realized it’s just that I wasn’t picky enough with who I wanted to live with. As I’ve given space away for free to people I care about, I’ve also realized just how extroverted I truly am and how much happier I am to be in a big loving household.
Which is all a long preamble to just say I’m in a really good place right now and it seems like spending more of my life trying to chase happiness in the moment has lead to much more sustainable happiness in the long term too. Sacrificing happiness today for something in the future mostly just ends up making me not as happy overall.
I ‘adopted’ a cute femboy
I thought you were talking about a person
fox
I thought you were talking about an animal and describing it in an adorable and unique way
who came to SF at the beginning of pride month to experience a new city and life and cheer up from their depression
I realized you were talking about a person
I think they’d very much appreciate your thought process! I know I personally get a lot of validation out of confusing people about just what exactly I am
Eh. Been trying to get more writing done, its going okay, but could be better. Trying not to constantly overthink about evil bastards in political power in my state further attacking trans people like me. Just trying to survive.
I hope OP feels better and that everyone has a nice day for a change.
I’ve been trying to ditch my shitty cafe job for a less shitty cafe job somewhere else. And my current job wants to promote me to shift lead (even though they know I’m applying to various places). But in any case, I live in an at-will state, so I really don’t have any requirement to stay on if they promote me, and if I do get a better job I still intend on giving a notice to my current one.
Outside of that I think I’m doing just okay.
I’m just all sorts of wound up–my boyfriend and I are moving in together at a new place on Friday, and I’m just itching to get this process started. Moving sucks as we all know, and I swear I’m just tired of it.
To top it off I’m having to cover for my boss at work until I leave for my move, since they pulled him to another location to help install new equipment that we were a test location for, so work is a chaotic nightmare on top of packing all my stuff up.
Luckily I had enough PTO saved up to take off a full week to do this, so I don’t have to panic about getting it all done in one or two days like I have in the past.
Congrats on moving in together!
Thank you, we’re both really excited!
My week is going well, all things considered. I’m in the New England area and all the surrounding areas are suffering from flooding, but my town is unscathed at the moment. The ducks are pretty happy with all of the rain, the chickens not so much, and I’m annoyed that the shipping container our friends gave us for a duck coop can’t be painted to protect it from the moisture, but I’m overall thankful that the government response has been pretty quick and everyone we know is safe and sound so far.
ive been pretty hungry, another one of those “do i buy food or toilet paper?” weeks. i am gonna make the nastiest stoner food when that paycheck comes in ^_^
do i buy food or toilet paper?
Sucky place to be. It’s not immediate I know, but hear me out. Save some $$$ for a little bit and treat yourself to a bidet. The upfront cost pays itself off after a few months (since you won’t be buying TP anymore).
there’s good ones that don’t break the bank and it’s worth it to make the switch!
oh yeah i def need to get one, i used to have one and they are 1000x better
I’m wishing you excellent digestion, effortless prioritization, energy, ease, and efficiency. ❤️
My Buff Orpington, Welsummer, and guinea chicks are all 2 weeks old today, and they are legitimately trying to fly around their enclosure even though none of them are fully fledged! It’s crazy, they are like little peeping popcorn, hopping and popping around. And they’re so funny! Somebody will occasionally find an extra long piece of pine shaving to carry around, and it starts a mad scramble as everybody else tries to catch them to steal it. 😂 I’m trying to figure out how to set up a livestream so my parents can watch them from their home. I’m also scrambling myself, trying to finish the coop and run before they outgrow the indoor enclosure.
My golden retriever is a perfect angel with them and loves to sit and watch them play. It’s hard to believe he’s only a year old, we just can’t get over how unbelievably good he is for his age. Idk if all goldens are magic angels or if we just got crazy lucky.
My 16yo is still not interested in taking the permit test or driving. He’s got my sense of caution, so I’m not really surprised. I can’t believe he’ll be a junior this year! And he’s dating, he and his partner have been together for a few months, and they’re so very good to each other. It’s so lovely to see him in love, cherishing someone and being cherished.
And my husband is almost fully recovered from Lyme! We might have social plans this weekend for the first time in a while. 🎉
Good luck getting the coop finished! I still need to finish the coops and run for our chickens and ducks - they’re currently living in our woodshed at night and free-ranging during the day until those are done. Just a heads up in case you aren’t aware already - if your guinea(s) is/are male, it might start getting aggressive when it hits around a year old, so try to prepare accordingly. Ours got very mean towards any chickens other than the two Brahmas it had bonded with and was actually harming the others. Not a guarantee that it will happen, but it might be good to have a separate space for the sake of your flock if it does. For now though, enjoy the babies; it never gets old having little peepers scrambling around and being chaos!
This week is the first week I’ve felt halfway close to being a human being in a really long time. My rTMS treatment for depression is finally starting to kick in. This is my 3rd round now and each time I see significant improvements, but they only last 4ish months and I relapse horrifically after.
My most recent relapse lasted 3ish months while I was scrambling to get treatment (and an unsuccessful Ketamine trial). I finally found a hospital willing to treat me, and also give me maintenance treatments so hopefully I don’t relapse again.
It’s just been hell for a while. Last weekend I finally felt the gears in my brain “click”. I am capable of experiencing positive emotions again. I still feel emotionally dead a lot of the time, but at least I don’t want to die anymore (for now).
It feels good to not be in excruciating pain. It feels good to have less disordered thinking. I look back and it feels like I was a different person, I don’t even understand or recognize that person.
Anyways, I’m just… Trying to take a breather. Trying to fully experience the moment. I don’t know how things will go in the long term, but I know the next couple of months will continue to be livable. Trying to be grateful for that, and not think too much about what comes next.
Hey! You sound like a pretty tough person. Hang in there!
Thank you! I am tough. The last 3 years have been harder than I could’ve ever fathomed, but I’m still trucking on. There’s a lot more to me than depression, even though it swallows everything sometimes.
🤗 I get what you mean. I have PTSD which sometimes makes me feel like it has taken over my life.
