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The original was posted on /r/covidlonghaulers by /u/coastalsagebrush on 2023-09-08 04:01:48.

Just found out about this community and I just wanna vent to people who might understand me

I got covid in 2021 - a wonderful Christmas present from my sister. But it wasn’t so bad. I wasn’t bedridden and just felt like a cold. Except for the brain fog and the fatigue. It hasn’t stopped.

I’ve been dealing with depression and adhd for a long time but at that point in 2021 I had gotten it sorted. My medication was great and wow, did I feel like living. Then I got covid. Reading is a chore now. I can’t understand things. They’re just words. I can’t concentrate on anything. I lose my train of thought constantly. My memory is horrible. I can’t even remember things that happened a month ago. I don’t have the energy to do things. Even at my most depressed stage I wasn’t like this. I was able to keep going. I’ve been trying to finish my MA thesis and I just can’t. I stare at the word document for hours not knowing what to type. I used to be able to churn out a 10 page essay in a day but I can’t make the connections anymore. I’ve tried to reread stuff I wrote and I don’t understand it. It feels like my brain stopped working and I hate it.

And it’s noticeable. My partner of ten years has brought some of these things up with me. It’s been a pretty drastic difference. I’m not even sure what do about it. I’m just so tired all the time that I don’t wanna do anything.

Then there’s the shakiness. I tremble a lot now. I can see it in my hands. My coordination seems off. I have a hard time doing things with my hands. It feels like I’m fumbling all the time. It kinda feels like I’m wearing a pair of gloves when I try to do things.

But honestly, I can put up with the trembling. My brain is my biggest concern. It’s blank all the time. I never know what to say to anyone even my partner. I’ve gotten really quiet in our conversations. I can’t think and I can’t concentrate. I can’t remember things. I don’t even know if I should bring it up with my doctor because they’ll probably blame it on my depression but this is worse than my depression.

Thank you to anyone who actually reads this.

I just remembered that I’ve been having issues with my blood pressure. I was fine before covid. It’s so high all the time now and medication isn’t working. I’ve also been doing tests on my heart cuz my heartbeat is fast. I’m on a beta blocker now so my heartbeat is good now but the blood pressure is still really high and concerns all the nurses. I eat healthy. Lots of fruits and veggies, not a lot of fast food or prepackaged foods. I don’t like salt so I don’t really use it. My doctor can’t figure out why my BP is so high.