There are a lot of times where I’ve caused hurt feelings for reasons that I later came to understand and internalize. I would not put the blame for those feelings on the people I hurt.

If it was because you “misunderstood” a weird neurotypical implication they made that they weren’t explicit about, actually you should blame them for it.

objectively bad behavior.

“Misunderstanding” someone’s weird “implications” and invisible social cues is not “objectively bad behavior”. In fact, it’s closer to objectively GOOD behavior because way too many people rely on that shit instead of actually directly communicating which people like us force them to do.