• Inui [comrade/them]@lemmy.ml
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    2 months ago

    I’m cis, so am happy to be corrected. But deadnaming is using the name of a trans person they no longer go by. This is sometimes done accidentally as people are getting used to the new identity of their relatives or friends, but is also done intentionally to deny trans people their identity and insist they use the name and pronouns they were assigned at birth. In the context of Caitlyn Jenner, people will sometimes deadname as an insult and insist they only do it in this specific case because Caitlyn is not a very good person. But using a person’s deadname in this way is still insulting to trans people, as it weaponizes their identity and implies they should only be respected if they conform to certain societal expectations.

    • postmateDumbass@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      Nice summary.

      With all due respect, what to do about pre transition events?

      E.g. who won the 1976 Olympic Decathlon?

      • eupraxia@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        2 months ago

        Generally, using their current preferred name/pronouns (or neutral pronouns) is best. She’s still the same person, so it’s true to say Caitlyn Jenner won the 1976 Olympic Decathlon. If any other facts about the event itself were directly relevant to the conversation, that’d be ok - e.g. it would be accurate and inoffensive imo to say she won the men’s division.

        But name/pronouns change all the time otherwise so it’s more normal to use the current ones. If Ms. Jones gets married and is now Mrs. Smith, it wouldn’t be inaccurate to talk about Mrs. Smith’s car breaking down last summer.

        • then_three_more@lemmy.world
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          2 months ago

          But name/pronouns change all the time otherwise so it’s more normal to use the current ones. If Ms. Jones gets married and is now Mrs. Smith, it wouldn’t be inaccurate to talk about Mrs. Smith’s car breaking down last summer.

          That’s such a good and clear comparison.

          With a married person who has changed their last name you can use “née” if using a trans persons birth name was for some reason needed (I can’t think of a reason why it would but be though) would something equivalent to "Mrs Smith (née Jones) be appropriate, or largely offensive?

          • eupraxia@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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            2 months ago

            That’s a good question! It’s definitely very rare that a birth name is entirely necessary to use in conversation, but an occasional situation comes up where I’m talking to an old friend about someone who’s since transitioned and I need to use a deadname to let them know who I’m talking about. Generally I say something like “so I ran into Denise, you knew her as Brett back in the day, etc etc etc” and just use Denise from there on. If the person I’m talking to isn’t caught too off guard by that, it’s a very smooth and natural way to handle that as a matter of circumstance and move on to using the preferred name quickly.

      • Noel_Skum@sh.itjust.works
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        2 months ago

        One potential answer would be to use “neè” which is translated as “born”. Often used in relation to a bride having changed their last name. e.g. Mrs. Williams neè Smith. That way you’d know that Mrs. Williams used to be Ms. Smith previously. Both are/were valid names - but at different times in the person’s life. Once you establish that the person has gone under a different name previously you can return to using the current name (and any change of pronoun) for all other mentions.

    • vivavideri@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      There’s a million better ways to insult Caitlyn Jenner, such as referring to her as hot garbage!