Attention = copium

I can no longer bear it alone. Why do I exist at all? It’s so painful.

Now I’m wondering if venting on social media have positive effects at all? Or does it only exacerbate the problem. Maybe it’s better to touch the grass. Fuck.

But how do I convince myself to get out of bed, eat something, take shower, take medication and find a job.

My plan is to spend the last of my money on drugs and forget that I exist.

I don’t want to hear that it will get better, because I’ve been hearing that for many years.

And how much do you hate this unjust world?

Now I’m going to be rude. So many people on the streets. We lost as a society. Stop having kids. You are fucking spreaders of death and suffering. And at the same time you are not guilty of anything, because you are controlled by chormones, genes, laws of physics, etc. Neither is the killer, rapist, suicide and junkie guilty of anything. This world is fucked up.

Why do you people block euthanasia? Why do you force others to exist? This should be my basic freedom. I am grateful to sites like sanctioned suicide, because people there understand that there is no point in keeping others against their will in this world. It is better to leave with such support than with none at all.

Why do you block drugs? I also want to feel happy. I don’t care if it’s “real” happiness. Alcohol is not banned, and performs worse than other drugs when it comes to the safety of the user and others.

Our life is about minimizing suffering and maximizing pleasure. Nothing else matters. I hope this whole planet gets smashed by something. Life should have no place in the universe. This is some sort of bug in the matrix.

Ok now I feel a little better.