Let me start. I previously resided in a north eastern US state, I had a good job, a good partner, a nice place to live. I thought I’d made it.
I started having medical problems, discovered I carry certain genes and such. Was having trouble getting them diagnosed, but such is life.
Then my good partner left me, I lost my job of a year and a half, and I thought a fresh start near family would be good. I decided to move cross country. Which I regret, I want to leave but now I don’t have the resources so here I am.
I just can’t seem to get a job, I’ve applied at over 2000 jobs in the last 6 months. My previous job was managing the entire technology infrastructure for an IT company. The one before that was the IT Manager for a small company. I have the experience, but I can’t get a job.
Last night I swerved to avoid deer in the road, got stuck in the mud and had to get towed out. I’m flat broke, I can’t get a job, I have nothing. I lost everything. And I don’t see myself ever recovering it. I have the experience and skill to do at least mid and some high level IT work.
I desperately want a remote job because my car is not reliable, my partner got the good car sadly. I’ve certainly made mistakes, I’ve certainly failed. But I don’t think I deserve this much pain and suffering. I have nothing, I’ve lost it all. I can’t find a job. I don’t dare look for a partner while I’m a dead broke loser, so I have no one to share with.
Anyways, I apologize for whining and crying, I know we’re all going through things. But I have nowhere to vent and it just keeps getting worse and I honestly don’t think I’ll ever get out.
Love you all. Thanks for reading. Please think of me when you get a chance and send good vibes my way.
Something that helped me was aggressively policing how long I allowed myself to think about things I can’t solve right now. I shrunk my world down to actionable items on a really granular level. Sometimes it’s just “take a shower”, “take out the trash”.
The next step after that was analyzing where effort was harming my mental health. Thinking about things beyond my control had to be discouraged. Sometimes the correct move is to let things happen. Sometimes your actionable item doesn’t appear until those things play out.
I’m not saying you can’t be upset about stuff, but if you can recognize those times when your emotion is actually harming your situation, now you have something you can work on.
Big agree with Bigoldmustard. In your situation, downsizing and focusing can go a long way. Force your big human brain into lizard mode and keep reminding yourself some things are outside of your control and current ability. Your primary goal is to keep going long enough to pounce on something better.
Also, if you’re in the US look into the Modest Needs charity and see if you qualify for some relief - getting your car reliable again will open more opportunities for employment, even if it’s not within your career. Take a job that gets you some steady work and always keep looking for a job in your field.
Life has stretches of suck, but nothing lasts forever.
Being present is massively helpful with mental health.
Depression is looking back and anxiety is looking forward. Speaking very generally of course.
If you can ground yourself in present (even for a few minutes) you’ll realise you are okay right now.